The Kindness of Semi Strangers
by Freddie Stardust
Summary: Bella would rather not have a fuss made over yet another near-death experience - until she meets the man making the fuss. Rated M for a very good reason - don't read it if you can't handle some lemonade.
1. Devil in a Lab Coat

_**The Kindness of Semi-Strangers**_

By Freddie Stardust

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing – Stephenie Meyer is the genius behind the _Twilight_ series. I make no money from writing this story.

_Chapter One – Devil in a Lab Coat_

* * *

I remember the day I met him as if it were yesterday.

The van had come hurtling toward me, tires squealing, and Edward had thrown himself in front of me. For someone who was so hot and cold, he was certainly quite willing to lay down his life for me. I didn't even have time to yell at him to stop being an idiot and save himself before the van indented around his outstretched hand.

He had run away as quick as he had come, and I was left with the masses to await an ambulance. Despite my assurances that I was fine, I ended up in the hospital after a girl from math called 911.

Thank goodness for the kindness of semi-strangers.

I sat on a rolling cot with Tyler talking my ear off on one side and Charlie sighing exasperatedly on the other. My x-rays had been taken twenty minutes before, and I was on the verge of leaving without a discharge when he finally showed up.

Suddenly I understood those scenes in old movies where the protagonist comes striding through the double doors, hands outstretched to part the way, with his hair blowing in the wind and coat billowing behind him, lights shining on him from above, a smile on his face and a choir of angels singing in some obscure language.

The only thing this scene was missing was the blowing hair, as it was gelled back, and the angels; why would there be angels when this man was obviously the devil in an incredibly tempting disguise?

My breath caught in my throat and I launched into an embarrassing coughing fit. Not quite the first impression I wanted to make.

"Isabella Swan," he said, grinning as he waited for my attack to subside. It eventually did, but the blush on my cheeks remained. Perhaps permanently.

"Bella," I managed to say, cursing the rasp that sounded not like a sexy Lauren Bacall, but rather a prepubescent Rod Stewart. The blush went from a rosy pink to a deep crimson.

"Right. Bella. I'm Dr. Cullen." He smiled again, probably enjoying a private joke at my expense. "Your x-rays look absolutely fine. You'll be a little bruised up, and that cut above your eye needs stitches, but other than that you're perfect."

Anyone else would've begun fantasizing about this blond god telling her she's perfect; I, however, only heard "cut above your eye." And then I smelled the blood.

"Oh God."

* * *

When I finally came to, there was a bright light shining above my head and directly into my eyes. I squinted and tried to move, but my head was held firmly in place by two hands. Dr. Cullen's face suddenly blocked out the light, but his smile was almost as bright.

"Sensitive to blood, huh?"

I could have died right then and there from embarrassment. Could this get any worse?

"The smell… It just gets to me."

"Hmm." Dr. Cullen frowned for a fraction of a second, but replaced it with his former smile. "I'm just tying off the stitches, so keep still for one more minute."

I almost nodded, and then remembered his instructions. Right. No moving.

It suddenly occurred to me that I hadn't woken up in the same place I had passed out. It was eerily quiet except for the hum of the fluorescent light overhead.

"Where are we?" I asked, trying to move as little as possible.

"I took you to a private room so you could wake up in a less stressful environment, and I decided I might as well stitch you up while you were out."

I was grateful and embarrassed at the same time, suddenly very thankful that I couldn't see his face as I spoke. "Thanks… I'm sorry you had to haul me all the way back here."

"It's really no problem Bella. You're very light."

Damned blush. There was a moment of silence, and then I felt a small tug.

"All done. Let me help you up." Dr. Cullen slid a hand behind my back and grasped my right hand, gently sitting me up on the bed. I found myself hoping in vain that the hands would stay on me, despite their icy temperature, but he let go once I was stable.

"Thanks again. I wish I weren't such a klutz," I mumbled.

He laughed, the sound almost musical. Could he get any dreamier? Did I really just use the word "dreamier" like the ditzy girls I so despised?

"You've been a wonderful patient, Bella. Usually the people I have to stitch up don't stay as still as you did."

"It wasn't exactly voluntary," I muttered feebly, feeling the blush deepen.

"Sensitivity to blood is very common. Nothing to be ashamed of." He helped me stand up off the bed and walked me to the door, and then I remembered Edward.

"Dr. Cullen, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure." He leaned against the doorframe with his clipboard pressed to his chest, nearly distracting me from my question in all his handsome-doctor glory.

"Your son, Edward. Is he… I don't know, a professional bodybuilder or something? He seems a little skinny to be that strong. I mean, no offense, but…" I continued to babble.

Dr. Cullen laughed and shook his head. "No, no he's not. Why do you ask?"

I frowned. "He jumped in front of Tyler's van and stopped it from hitting me. It's why I'm alive."

The smile slowly disappeared from his face. "I'm sorry?"

"He… he stopped a moving vehicle," I paraphrased, feeling unsure of myself. Maybe I did have a concussion.

Dr. Cullen shook his head and frowned, looking as if he were having an internal conversation with himself. "You're sure about that?"

I laughed shortly and shook my head. "You know, maybe I'm just really out of it. Maybe he just pushed me out of the way. Um, could you tell him thanks for me?"

He nodded wordlessly, reaching for the door. "Come back in three days and I'll get those stitches out, all right?"

"Sure."

"And if you have any throbbing, take a couple Tylenol and put a bit of ice on the area."

I ignored my gutter-bound mind's twisted visual of "throbbing" and nodded gently, trying not to disturb the stitches. "Thanks Dr. Cullen."

"Any time, Bella."

As I walked out to the lobby, I watched Dr. Cullen out of the corner of my eyes. He stared after me, shook his head, and whipped out his cell phone before walking at an almost inhuman pace down the hall and disappearing around a corner.

When Charlie and I got back to his house, I faked emotional exhaustion and made my way up to my room to do some reflecting.

Edward stopped a van with his bare hand. Not hands, hand. As if that mattered. His eyes changed colors, and he was incredibly fast – and incredibly moody.

And Dr. Cullen. His skin was so cold, and his eyes were the exact same golden hue as Edward's, despite their lack of blood relation. And then he had moved so fast down the hall when I left, I wondered if maybe he could have moved as fast as Edward had to reach my side before the van could.

I shook my head to clear out the cluttered thoughts. I was probably just in shock or something. But one thought dogged me as I crawled into bed: were the Cullens even human, and if not, then what the hell were they?

* * *

A/N: Bella blushes red, Edward loves her in blue. If you enjoyed this chapter, please leave a review.

Next chapter up ASAP, and it'll be longer than this. Usually my chapters run eight to ten pages, and this one was only four, so expect quite a bit more of Bella's awkward rambling and Carlisle's sexy swooping through doors in the next installment.


	2. Uneducated Guesses

_**The Kindness of Semi-Strangers**_

By Freddie Stardust

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing – Stephenie Meyer is the genius behind the _Twilight_ series. I make no money from writing this story.

_Chapter Two – Uneducated Guesses_

* * *

I didn't have much time to dwell on the Cullens over the next couple of days. Whenever I tried to imagine what could possibly make them so… unique, all I could come up with was some ridiculous theory based on the comic books I had shared with my best friend Dave from Phoenix when we were eight.

Edward wasn't in school the day after my – our – accident, nor the day after that. The rest of the Cullens – Emmett, Jasper, Alice, and Rosalie – stared at me each morning with a variety of emotions on their beautiful faces. Emmett seemed mostly amused; Alice looked as if she had a huge secret that she was bursting to tell; Jasper looked like he, too, was trying to contain himself, but not in the same excited way as Alice; and Rosalie looked at me with pure, unadulterated disgust.

School seemed to drag on the third day after my stitches. Jessica chattered away at Angela and me at lunch, but I wasn't hearing a word she said. All I could think about was my impending appointment with a gorgeous blond doctor and my conspiracy theories as to his genetic makeup. He was like my own personal Dr. Feelgood.

"Hello, Earth to Bella!"

I snapped my head around so fast I could have sworn I heard it pop. "Sorry, what were you saying?"

"We're going to go shopping in Port Angeles tomorrow for prom dresses. You're coming, right?" Jessica asked, raising an over-plucked eyebrow.

Angela gave me a pleading look, obviously not wanting to face the madness alone.

"Sure, I'll come. I'm not going to prom, but I'll try to help however I can," I offered, glancing over at the Cullen table. They were all talking quietly except for Alice, who was looking my way and gave me a small smile when she caught my eye.

"Great! I'll pick you up at ten, okay?" Jessica asked as the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch.

"Sure, great." I picked up my tray, mostly untouched, and headed for my last class before Dr. Sex-On-Legs.

* * *

As I parked my monster of a truck in the hospital lot, I took a deep, calming breath. It wouldn't do to look like a schoolgirl with a crush in front of Dr. Cullen.

_Wait. I _am_ a schoolgirl with a crush._ I sighed and shook my head at my nonsense. My crush on the good doctor was completely irrational; I couldn't be lusting after everyone who helped patch me up after a fall, or else I'd have a dance card several dozen names long.

Besides, a man that looked like Carlisle Cullen had to be married to some supernaturally beautiful woman who was graceful enough not to trip on her shoelaces three times on any given day. Even though his kids were adopted, they were still my age, and it was still a little weird to think of sleeping with or even dating someone whose children sat in the same cafeteria as I did.

I tripped over the threshold as I passed through the automatic doors in the hospital lobby. A nurse stifled a laugh as she walked past, wheeling an elderly man away.

"Can I help you?" the receptionist asked as I drew near her desk.

"I'm here to see Dr. Cullen; I'm Bella Swan."

"Have a seat and a nurse will call you back. Fill these out while you wait." She pressed a clipboard and pen into my hands and gestured vaguely toward the waiting area before getting back to her all too important task – reading a gossip magazine.

_Great customer service_, I thought, sitting a few seats away from a man who was holding his leg in obvious agony. I tried to ignore his moans as I scratched out the usual information into the tiny boxes on the hospital forms.

"Isabella Swan," a gruff voice called out. I looked up and saw a tall male nurse holding a door open to my right. I stood, gathered my purse and the half-completed forms, and followed him past several rooms with rather sickly-looking occupants.

"Have a seat and Dr. Cullen will be right with you." The nurse swooped out abruptly and strode noisily back down the hall.

I rolled my eyes and picked up the pen to finish my forms. "Doesn't anyone have manners around here?" I wondered aloud grumpily.

"I'd like to think I have some," came a voice from the doorway. I looked up and saw Dr. Cullen leaning against the frame with a smirk. My trusty reflexes kicked in immediately, turning my face a bright red.

"Sorry, I didn't…" I was suddenly speechless.

"It's all right, I know what you mean. Everyone here is so busy caring for their patients that they forget their patients are human beings with feelings."

Dr. Cullen walked all the way in and shook my hand. "Nice to see you again."

"You too," was my devastating response.

"You haven't injured anything else while that cut was healing, have you?" he joked, running a thumb over the stitches as he examined them with a discerning eye.

"Only my pride."

He laughed. He should charge money to let people hear him laugh – he'd be a millionaire. That laugh made me weak in the knees, which, when combined with my natural grace, could be deadly.

"All right, lay back on the table and I'll get those stitches right out."

I did as directed, watching as he washed his hands and pulled on rubber gloves. _I wouldn't mind him putting on a different kind of rubber_…

"I should warn you, it might bleed just a little bit when I take the stitches out," Dr. Cullen said, cutting into my rather inappropriate fantasy. I blushed again and hoped it looked like a nervous blush rather than a caught-imagining-you-naked blush.

"I'll try not to pass out, but I can't make any promises." I gulped, biting my lower lip in anticipation.

Dr. Cullen's cold hands brushed against my forehead, and I thought of any innocent thing I could to distract myself from the incredible sensation – puppies, my grandmother, giggling babies, unicorns, puffy clouds…

"Done."

He offered me a hand to help me to my feet, which I gratefully accepted; there was a faint scent of blood mixed with hospital sanitizers in the air, and I wasn't completely steady.

"Thanks for fixing me up," I said awkwardly.

"My pleasure." He signed a couple of papers for insurance and handed them back to me. "Just hand these to the receptionist on your way out and you're good to go."

"Sure. Thanks again." I turned to go, but his hand on my shoulder stopped me dead in my tracks.

"Bella, could we talk for a minute? In a non-professional capacity, I mean."

I stared into his butterscotch eyes and found myself unable to resist. "Okay."

Dr. Cullen closed the door and leaned against it while I hopped back up on the edge of the examining table. He was silent for a moment, sorting out his thoughts, before he spoke.

"Do you remember what happened three days ago?"

I furrowed my brow, confused. "Sure. I almost got smashed by a van and Edward stopped it."

Dr. Cullen sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in deep concentration. "Bella, you're a smart girl. Trust me when I tell you it would be best if you forgot what happened regarding Edward."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean it's best not to mention that Edward stopped an out-of-control vehicle with just his hand. Information like that might…" He paused, considering his words. "It might cause you more harm than good. In fact, it can cause no good." He was by my side in the blink of an eye, hands on either side of my legs. I briefly considered yet another theory as to his identity – perhaps the descendant of a Greek god? A very fast Greek god… Hermes?

"Do you understand me, Bella?" His eyes seared into mine, his light, mint-tinged breath washing over me and rendering me speechless and senseless. I may as well have been a cup of Jell-o. "Will you forget about what happened, keep it locked away in the back of your mind?" His lips were inches from mine, and I longed to close the distance.

"I will," I answered breathlessly. Anything for him.

Dr. Cullen immediately stood up straight and put a respectable distance between us, leaving me completely dazed and disoriented. "Great. Your head will be just fine, Bella. I'll see you around." He gave me one last dazzling smile and opened the door, striding quickly from the room.

I sat on the table for a few more moments, trying to regain my senses. He had been so close to me, so infuriatingly yet intoxicatingly teasing me. I could hardly remember my own name; let alone what we had been speaking about.

Walking to the front desk, I tried to slow my heartbeat down from its current dizzying pace. I handed the insurance papers to the receptionist and wished her a good day, barely recognizing the whimsical voice that came out of my throat.

* * *

I woke up the next morning around eight-thirty, groaning when I realized it was Saturday – prom dress shopping day. I stretched, feeling my stiff back pop, and shuffled into the bathroom to take a quick shower.

When I came out of the bathroom, wrapped in a soft robe and my hair up in a towel, there was a note taped to my bedroom door. Apparently Charlie had to work early this morning and would be going to Seattle for a Mariners game with Billy Black immediately after his shift ended. Much as I avoided sports, I would rather be at a ball game than at a strip mall looking for a dress that I wouldn't even be wearing.

Jeans and a green sweater were the first things I found in my closet, and so became my outfit for the day ahead. I pulled on a pair of sneakers and grabbed my purse and a light jacket, then headed downstairs to have a bowl of cereal before Jessica and Angela came to pick me up.

Just as I was slamming the refrigerator door into my knee on my quest for milk, there was a knock at the door. I cursed as I hopped up and down on my good leg, but stopped when I realized that the cut on my forehead was still quite fresh and could reopen easily with any jarring movement.

A glance at the clock over the kitchen table told me that I had another forty minutes before Jessica was supposed to arrive. Had she called to change the time and Charlie forgot to give me the message?

I limped to the front door, still letting out an unladylike string of swear words each time my left foot hit the floor. I flung the door open a bit more forcefully than was really necessary, completely unprepared for my guest.

"Edward? What are you doing here?"

Edward Cullen stood on my porch looking incredibly attractive with his mussed-up hair and a leather jacket. "I'm sorry I didn't call before I came over, but I don't know your number."

I stood staring at him through the screen door for a good ten seconds before realizing I was being rude. "Um, do you want to come in?"

"Sure." I pushed the screen open, and Edward stepped into the foyer, taking in his surroundings. I suddenly felt very self-conscious; from what Jessica had told me, I knew the Cullens had a huge mansion, and he probably wasn't used to standing in a house that was probably smaller than just his room.

"It's not much, but it's home," I said shyly, gesturing wildly with a hand that proceeded to hit me in the side of the head.

Edward graciously pretended not to notice my clumsiness and gave me a small smile. "It's actually really nice. It feels comfortable, familiar even."

I smiled back and stared at him for another few seconds before realizing my social faux pas. "Can I get you a drink? Some breakfast? I was about to have cereal."

"No thank you. Please, go ahead and eat."

I felt disoriented as I followed directions from a near stranger in my own home, starting back into the kitchen and hearing Edward's graceful footsteps fall softly behind my clumsy ones.

I knocked the refrigerator door into my other knee as I resumed my Quest for the Forgotten Milk, and swore colorfully. Edward snorted, and I blushed red as a beet.

"Sorry. Rough morning."

He nodded in understanding and gave me a crooked grin. I finally poured milk into my cereal and began munching at it, feeling self-conscious again as Edward just watched me eat. I hopped up on the counter, swinging my feet lightly against the cabinets beneath me as I ate.

"So… What brings you over here this early?"

Edward flinched as if being disturbed from deep thought. "I'm sorry, it was rude of me to just stare at you eating without announcing my intentions… Well, anyway, I came over to apologize."

I furrowed my brow. "For what?"

"For ignoring you for the first few days you were here. It was very inhospitable of me to act as I did, and for that I offer my sincerest apologies."

His language almost made me laugh. "Geez, Edward, you don't have to go all Victorian-era on me. A simple 'sorry' is okay. And you already apologized the other day." I shuffled nervously from foot to foot. "I figured I must have somehow offended you, so I'm sorry if I did."

Edward shook his head vehemently. "No, you did nothing. It was my fault. I was unnaturally cold to you."

_Unnaturally cold_… His words brought to the surface what felt like a forgotten memory. What was unnaturally cold? What was my brain trying so adamantly to remind me of? I shook it off and continued to try to comfort the obviously remorseful young man standing in front of me.

"I barely know you Edward. It's really okay. I'm the new girl, you're established school royalty. There was bound to be tension. Especially since Jessica thinks you're into me."

Edward snorted, and I felt an angry heat rise to my cheeks.

"What, am I not good enough for you?" I snapped.

"No, Bella, no!" Edward was by my side in the blink of an eye, looking as though he wanted to place a reassuring hand on my shoulder, but not following through.

I glared at him. "Typical popular asshole. They're the same no matter where you go. Is the idea of someone attractive liking me really so out there?"

"Bella," he said calmly, as though speaking to a petulant toddler; granted, I probably seemed like a petulant toddler, but it seemed justifiable. I wasn't the prettiest girl in the world, or even in Forks, but I wasn't the attractiveness equivalent of a six-times-run-over possum. "Firstly, I'm not school royalty. My family is actually the school joke, a bunch of misfits. Secondly, it's not 'out there' because of you. It's 'out there' because of _me_."

"Meaning?" I said impatiently, tapping my foot.

He sighed. "Look, I don't like to go telling everyone, but…" He stopped, looking anywhere but at my eyes.

I raised an eyebrow. "What? It's not like I'm going to go gossip and giggle with Jessica and Lauren about what you say. I do have more respect for people's privacy than you seem to think."

Edward sighed again, the sound actually quite beautiful. "I like you. But I don't _like _you. I don't like your kind, actually."

"My kind?" I asked, confused.

"Your… gender," he clarified, running a hand nervously through his hair.

As soon as he said it, it made complete sense. He was far too pretty and sensitive to be the rugged manly-man Lauren and the other girls made him out to be. Hell, he was prettier than me. Plus, he never spared any of the girls a glance; I had even begun to consider him asexual, or perhaps just snobby, since no one seemed to catch his eye. "Oh," was all I could manage. Edward just nodded shortly.

"Yeah."

I tried to diffuse the situation. "It really doesn't matter to me. And I won't tell anyone. I swear."

Edward gave me a half smile, looking slightly convinced. "You sure?"

I nodded fervently. "I'm sure. Even though you completely ignored me and/or glared at me for my first few days in town, which, I might add, are when new kids are the most impressionable, I'm still completely willing to be your friend. That is, if you want to be."

The smile he gave me this time was genuine. "I'd really like that. But just understand this – because my family has been, er, isolated from everyone else since we moved here, I might not be the greatest friend to start out with. I might seem distant or cold." He patted my non-cereal-eating hand. "But I'm willing to try."

The moment we shared was suddenly interrupted by a honk from outside. I groaned and rolled my eyes, hopping off the counter. "That's Jessica. We're supposed to go shopping in Port Angeles today."

Edward gave me a sympathetic smile. "I know how you feel. My sister, Alice, loves to shop. She practically _lives_ for Versace and Prada, and I somehow almost always get dragged along."

Another honk, and the vague sound of my name being called.

"I bet Jessica and Alice could form one hell of a bond over their love of shopping," I grumbled.

Edward looked skeptical. "Maybe," he said half-heartedly. I got the feeling that he wasn't Jessica's biggest fan; but then again, neither was I.

We walked to the front door, which I shut and locked behind me. Jessica was staring at me wide-eyed from the front seat of her car, which was blasting some sort of pop music from a Top 20 station. Angela had a more reserved look on her face, but she was obviously intrigued as to my early morning visitor, too.

"I'll see you later, Bella," Edward said, giving my hand a quick squeeze before walking down the driveway.

"Hey, do you need a lift?" I called after him, realizing his Volvo was nowhere to be found.

He smiled and shook his head. "I like to walk. Fresh air and all that." He waved and continued on his way.

I hopped in the back of the car and buckled myself in. Jessica and Angela had both turned around in their seats to stare at me.

"Like, what the hell was Edward Cullen doing here?" Jessica asked, her tone shocked. I suppressed a grumble at the fact that my suspicions were true – no one here thought I was good enough for a Cullen.

"We're just friends," I told her.

"Yeah, friends." She gave me a look that said she clearly didn't believe me. I gave her a mental gesture involving my center finger.

"I think it's nice that Bella's making friends with Edward," Angela piped up. "He's always so quiet; he could use a friend."

I gave Angela an appreciative smile, and she winked back at me.

Jessica put the car in reverse and backed out of the drive. "Whatever." She began singing along with whatever crap was on the radio.

As we drove down the road, I looked for Edward on the sidewalk, but he was nowhere in sight. I turned around in my seat, and then looked out to either side. Gone.

"He must be fast," Angela commented, reading my mind.

"Inhumanly fast," I murmured in agreement.

"If he's that fast, he should join the track team," Jessica said, turning onto the highway. "They could really use some cute fresh meat."

I exchanged a look with Angela, suddenly very glad I had accepted Jessica's invitation to go shopping. Not only was I sparing Angela the misery of being Jessica's sole gossip target; I could also tell that she and I were going to get along swell, and in this tough little town, I could use all the friends I could get.

* * *

A/N: A plea for reviews in haiku form:

_Want more hot doctor?_

_Carlisle will rock your world;_

_Just write a review!_

Many thanks to the following for their warm fuzzy-inducing reviews and words of encouragement: heartless13, roots19, Megara1, notashamedtobesoilyfan, Mysterious Angel-05, Jaspers Izzy, aerobee82, acw1, Dist12, B-RizzleDizzle, nhalbur, and Nevaefell. You guys completely made my day!

Thanks also to those who added me to favorites and/or alerts. It's nice to know someone wants to read my driveling!

Next up: The Wild and Wacky Adventures of Bella and Carlisle in Port Angeles.


	3. Captain Cullen to the Rescue

_**The Kindness of Semi-Strangers**_

By Freddie Stardust

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing – Stephenie Meyer is the genius behind the _Twilight_ series. I make no money from writing this story.

_Chapter Three – Captain Cullen to the Rescue_

* * *

The ride to Port Angeles seemed to take a lifetime rather than the hour it actually took up Route 101. Jessica's musical tastes were infuriating; she loved the generic crap pumped through mainstream radio, whereas I would have been content listening to just the sounds of the road, or else an old Bowie album.

When we finally arrived in the city, Jessica and Angela led me through the grid-patterned streets. On the way to our destination, we passed an old shop that had several sale tables set up just outside the door. Jessica giggled as she picked up an item off the table.

"Bit early for Halloween, right?" she said, waving the figurine around. It was a miniature Count Dracula, complete with oversized fangs and a tiny billowing cape. "No wonder it's on clearance."

I looked at the figurine for a moment, taking in its pale skin, crimson eyes, and general air of foreboding, despite its obvious purpose being for the amusement of candy-seeking, costume-clad children. It seemed familiar, but once again, my mind was throwing a curtain down. I was unable to place why it was so memorable, and followed Jessica and Angela down the street to a shop that sold a mix of new and secondhand gowns. They were almost beautiful enough to make me reconsider my thoughts on prom – almost.

I valiantly endured the Inquisition ("Does this make my boobs look big enough?" "Is my waist too high in this one?") for an hour and a half before bailing. There was a bookstore I had noticed on the way in that look like it might have the second volume of the first edition of _Villette, _and so I set out in search of the shop.

There was only a light mist coming down outside, so I left my hood down as I navigated the side streets of Port Angeles. Despite it being so early in the afternoon, it was incredibly dark; there was a thick cover of ominous clouds threatening to turn the light mist into something much more capable of soaking through my clothes.

I finally found the shop after asking directions from a local and stepped inside, wiping my shoes on the mat inside the door. The clerk was a younger guy, maybe a year or two below me in school, who was much more interested in his comic book than anyone who stepped through the door. I found the classics section after a bit of searching and was dismayed to find only volumes one and three of _Villette_.

After looking around for a few more minutes, I walked back outside and found it even darker than it had been before. I pulled up my hood in anticipation of the impending storm and walked quickly back in the direction from which I had come.

I heard laughter a block ahead of me. It was distinctly male and drunk in nature, and I had to decide rather promptly how to act – go back to the safety of the bookshop, or press on?

Deciding that I was just stereotyping what was probably a friendly bunch of guys, I chose the latter and continued on. Big mistake.

"Hey there beautiful," came a voice from in front of me.

I gave a strained smile and tried to keep walking. An arm on my shoulder caused me to stop rather abruptly.

"I was talking to you," said the owner of the voice. He was probably in his early twenties and had the distinctive air of a frat boy – visor pulled sideways over perfectly gelled brown hair, polo shirt complete with popped collar, and sneakers that were blindingly white despite probably being a few years old.

"Yeah, it's rude not to answer when someone pays you a compliment," said another guy, this one blond-tipped.

I kept my silence, trying to decide how best to escape without provoking them to violence. Adrenaline was pumping through me, confusing my thought process and fueling my flight or fight instincts. Flight seemed like a good idea – there was no way I could take on four guys on my own. I could barely walk near a stationary object without getting hurt.

The brown-haired one edged closer to me, his friends fanning out to my sides and back.

"Didn't your momma teach you manners?" he slurred, whiskey breath washing over me. I was paralyzed by a variety of emotions: disgust, anger, and predominantly a blinding terror.

Just as the guys were all closing in on me, there was a flash of color to my left and right, and then a voice – a beautiful, heaven-sent voice.

"Is there a problem here?" Carlisle Cullen's voice was deceptively calm as he stood on my left. The guys jumped back, taken aback by the very sudden arrival.

I looked to my right – Jasper Hale was standing there still as a statue, making no attempt to hide the fury that was painted on his face. His eyes looked almost black with rage.

The leader of my would-be attackers attempted to laugh light-heartedly, but it was hard to brush off the whole affair when two tall, obviously livid men flanked his target. I would have laughed if I weren't still terrified.

"No problem man. Just catching up with an old friend, right?" He dared to look at me in hopes of corroboration of his story, and I shrunk back a bit. I could have sworn I heard Jasper growl, and the four boys backed up a bit more, keeping a wary eye on him.

"Is that true?" Carlisle asked, his question directed at me but his gaze still trained on the guy. I shook my head almost imperceptibly. "Then perhaps you should leave now," he continued.

The kid rolled his eyes. "I don't take direction from anyone, man."

Jasper took a few steps forward, and the guys took a few steps back. Carlisle's head whipped around to look at his adopted son. He moved his lips quickly, saying something in a tone so low I couldn't hear at only a foot's distance away. Jasper continued to stare angrily at the group, but made no further move toward them.

The blond-tipped guy shook his head, obviously rattled. "Come on, guys. This scene's whack anyway." They began moving away from us, throwing occasional glances over their shoulders at us as they went.

Once they were a safe distance away, I began to tremble, my knees nearly collapsing under me. Despite all the trouble I had managed to get into in my lifetime, this was by far the most horrifying experience I had ever had. I had nearly been mugged, or beaten, or raped, or all of the above.

Carlisle caught me before I even realized I was falling. He looked to Jasper as he held me to his chest, and Jasper nodded. I suddenly felt much calmer, lighter, as if I was floating. The fear was still there, but it was almost as if someone had thrown a sheet over it.

"Bella, can you understand me?" Carlisle asked.

I nodded, still shaking.

"You're in shock. I need to take you somewhere warm, and you need food."

I thought of Jessica and Angela waiting for me at the store – they would no doubt be getting worried.

"My friends…" I began, my voice barely a broken whisper.

"Jasper, could you find Jessica and Angela, please? Tell them Bella got sick and I took her home."

Jasper nodded. He seemed to be doing as little speaking and even breathing as possible. He strode down the street and disappeared around the corner.

Carlisle held me close for a few minutes, moving a reassuring hand up and down my back with my head tucked safely under his chin. I took deep breaths to try to stop my shaking, inhaling his intoxicating scent at the same time. He smelled of sandalwood and spearmint – deep and crisp.

"Can you walk now? It looks like it's about to rain pretty hard," he said softly. I nodded, not wanting to leave the comfort of his cool embrace. Luckily for me, he kept one arm around my shoulder as we made our way slowly down the street into town.

By the time we made it to a restaurant, the lunch rush was over. Carlisle led me into an Italian place and asked for a corner booth. The hostess gave him an appreciative once-over before leading us to our table, and if I hadn't been so distraught, I would have glared at her.

Once I had scooted around into the center of the booth, Carlisle sat down next to me and put his arm around my shoulder. I relaxed into his touch, finally feeling like I wasn't about to be attacked.

"Thanks," I murmured, shutting my eyes and leaning my head back against the seat.

"Any time, Bella."

"You're like a superhero or something. Captain Carlisle. You'd make a great cereal." I cringed at my words; I tended to ramble when I was upset, and it seemed tonight was no exception.

Carlisle laughed. "Thanks, I think."

My body was still trembling slightly, and Carlisle rubbed soothing patterns on my shoulder.

"So, just out of curiosity, why were you stalking me tonight?" I asked before I could stop the thought from being verbalized.

Carlisle froze for a moment, and then continued tracing shapes on my upper back. "Jasper and I were here with Alice. She needed a new dress for prom, and I needed to pick up a cake for the chief of medicine's birthday."

I raised an eyebrow. "The bakery is on a sketchy side street by the marina?"

"Correct."

"So where's the cake?"

Carlisle sighed, but I could tell it was a sigh of defeat, not annoyance. "You're far too curious for your own good, Bella."

The waitress chose to show up and take our orders at that moment, and I rolled my eyes. Perfect timing.

"What would you like, sir?" the waitress drawled, blatantly eye-fucking the doctor.

He smiled politely and shook his head. "I've already eaten. But my friend here needs some food, stat."

I bit my lip out of nervous habit. "I haven't actually looked at the menu."

"May I order for you?"

The gentleman-appreciating romantic in me that I thought was long dead did a gleeful dance. "Um, sure."

Carlisle smiled at me and then turned to the waitress. "The lady will have the mushroom ravioli."

The waitress nodded and sauntered off, giving her hips an extra bit of wiggle in hopes of catching the doctor's attention, no doubt. Her mission failed; his topaz eyes were trained on me.

"Good choice, Dr. Cullen. I love mushroom ravioli."

"Carlisle. Just Carlisle. I'm off duty tonight."

I nearly moaned as he hit an especially sensitive spot on my neck, and perhaps I didn't do a good enough job of stifling the sound, because Carlisle gently removed his hand from around me to adjust the position in which he was seated. For some reason I couldn't explain, I almost felt as if his occasional shifting, blinking, and even breathing were only for my benefit and that of the people around us.

"Alright, Carlisle, then. You were about to fess up," I reminded him. "What's really going on with the Cullen family? I may sometimes be one crayon short of a full box, but I know when something is out of the ordinary."

He pursed his lips together in thought. "Edward seems to trust you."

"Don't you?" I retorted sharply.

"Yes," he said immediately. "That didn't come out as I intended, and I'm sorry. But if you'll just hear me out, you'll understand what I mean."

I nodded, encouraging him to continue.

"The Cullens are different; you're right. We're not like the rest of the people in Forks. We're not like most of the people in the world. But that is a fact we work very hard to disguise, and it is disguised because most people are not equipped to understand or accept it."

He paused, whether for dramatic effect or to reorganize his thoughts, I didn't know.

"I like you, Bella. I like you a great deal. I think you're a wonderful, intelligent, and very insightful young woman."

I blushed hard at his words. "I don't think you know me well enough, then."

He gazed intensely at me as he spoke. "I think I do. And perhaps I 'd like to learn more."

The food finally came, thankfully brought out by a runner who didn't ask questions about Carlisle's appetite, or lack thereof. Its arrival gave me a moment to regroup as I processed what Carlisle had just said. I picked at my food, trying to clarify his suggestion.

"You're still avoiding my question," I said, deciding to ignore his cryptic yet thrilling words for the moment. "Why are the Cullens different?"

Carlisle laughed. "You're rather tenacious, aren't you?" He shook his head with a smile. "You know why we're different, Bella. It'll come to you. Just try to remember."

"Remember what?" I asked, panicking. "What did I forget? Was my head injury that bad?"

"No, your head is fine. But if you think hard enough, you'll figure it out." He rested his head on his hand as he watched me eat. "I think you should have a cell phone."

"Is that what I'm supposed to remember?" I said, injecting as much sarcasm into my tone as possible.

"I'd rather you have a foolproof way of getting help if needed, instead of relying on happy coincidences."

I shrugged. "I guess I could get one."

Carlisle lit up with a dazzling smile. "Great! There's an AT&T store a few miles down 101. I'll drive you over, and I can be the very first name in your phonebook."

I blushed furiously and lowered my face toward my food, pretending to examine a fluffy pasta pillow. "Sounds good to me," I said as nonchalantly as I could manage. I had a feeling he saw right through my cool and collected act. Truth was, Carlisle Cullen made me feel like a fish on land; I was completely out of my element.

As soon as I finished eating, Carlisle walked me to his car, a sleek black Mercedes that looked far too expensive for me to be within a three-mile radius of it.

"Nice ride," I said, wincing at my unintended double entendre. _Open mouth, insert foot_.

"Thanks," he said with a grin as he opened the passenger door for me. I gingerly lowered myself onto the seat and admired the interior. I was by no means a grease monkey, but I could still appreciate a fine piece of machinery. With a truck like mine, it was hard to take nice cars for granted. Anything that went two miles without backfiring was an upgrade for me.

We sped down 101, making easy conversation about work, school, the weather; all the small talk that usually made me cringe. It was different with Carlisle, though – much as I wanted to kick myself for even thinking it, I really could just listen to his voice all day.

_Man up, Swan! Let's not get googly-eyed over Dr. Sexy Pants. Not until we figure out the wife/girlfriend situation…_

"Here we are," Carlisle announced, pulling into a spot in front of a retail store with a neon sign announcing its status as an AT&T dealer.

It didn't take me long to pick out a pretty cheap, practical LG flip phone that would fit in my back pocket without making me look like I had a giant boil on my ass. Carlisle helped me hash out the details of the plan and pricing, and then, as promised, programmed his number into my contacts list. He then handed the phone back to me, letting his cool hand linger a bit longer on mine than necessary.

_Don't blush don't blush don't blush. Fuck, I'm blushing._

Carlisle opened the door for me again, and I inconspicuously pulled a loose hair off my shirt and chucked it out the slightly lowered window. No way was I sullying the car with even a single hair.

"Hey Carlisle, how is Jasper getting home?" I asked as Carlisle dropped into the seat next to me.

"It's a nice day for a jog," he replied with a mysterious smirk. I decided not to press the issue, not wanting to seem like I was prying. But that would be one hell of a long jog… Would he really just leave his kid to run a distance that took an hour by car?

"Kidding, Bella," Carlisle said, rolling his eyes. "He's bumming a ride from Alice."

"Oh." _Smooth_.

* * *

The ride back to Forks was shorter than I would have liked; Carlisle drove rather fast, and I probably would have been scared shitless if I hadn't been busy ogling him out of the corner of my eye.

As we pulled up to Charlie's house, I gave Carlisle a bright smile. "Thanks so much for… everything. Feeding me, rescuing me, catching me up to modern-day technology…"

He laughed and squeezed my hand gently. "Any time, Bella. You have my phone number now – don't hesitate to use it."

Before I could read too much into his words, I peeled myself off the soft leather seat and walked up to the front door, giving Carlisle a quick wave before slipping inside.

I closed the door behind me and slid to the floor, giggling like a lunatic in a rather self-indulgent moment of uncharacteristic girliness. As I heard Carlisle's car drive off, I inexplicably giggled harder.

This was just too bizarre. One minute he was Dr. Cullen, stitching me up after a death-defying accident, and the next he was buying me lunch and telling me to call him.

"Bella? You home?"

I picked myself up, leaving most of my dignity on the floor as Charlie peeked into the foyer.

"Sounds like you had fun with the girls," he half-stated, half-asked in typical awkward Charlie fashion.

"You have no idea." I smiled nostalgically, and then quickly shook my head to clear it of my frivolous fantasies. "Hungry?"

"Always." Charlie gave me a smirk before disappearing once more into the den to watch the college games. I rolled my eyes (with love, of course) and headed for the kitchen to make dinner.

I whipped up a quick chicken casserole and salad, and then called Charlie into the kitchen. He sat down at the table, taking an appreciative sniff of the air.

"You're a hell of a cook," he said, loosening his belt in anticipation. I shrugged, though secretly pleased at the compliment.

We ate in relative silence, occasionally making small talk about how his ball game had been rained out halfway through or my new cell phone, whose number he quickly programmed into his own phone.

_Great. My dad is more technologically "with it" than I am. Baby Boomers – 1, GenX – 0._

As I cleared the dishes, Charlie put the leftovers into Tupperware containers. "Should be having some sunny days soon," he said, attempting more small talk. "God knows this town could use it; with everyone so pale, you'd think we were a town of vampires."

The dish I was holding slipped out of my soapy hands and into the sink with a crash.

"You okay Bells?" Charlie asked, picking up the plate and wiping it off.

Pale. Cold. Fast. Strong. Eyes. Dazzling. Lack of appetite.

"Oh…"

* * *

A/N: Another shameless ploy for reviews in the form of an acrostic poem (in which the first letter of each line spells out a word – guess which one…)

**C**arlisle is a sex god

**A**nd to see him in action,

**R**eviews fuel the writer.

**L**ittle words of encouragement

**I** love to receive;

**S**end a quick

**L**ittle blurb, and I'll write

**E**ven faster!

Apparently I've confused the crap out of people regarding Edward's… er, orientation. I love confusion. I think I'll keep it going for a while. All will be explained in due time.

Much love to those adding me on Alert or Favorites – every add has been a bright spot in an otherwise stressful and all-too-long week. Hurrah for the weekend, and hurrah for the Alerters/Favoriters!

A big sloppy kiss to my lovely reviewers – Nevaehell, Megara1, Jits, aerobee82, Dist12, notashamedtobesoilyfan, acw1, StormDragonfly, heartless13, Leah (loved your haiku, by the way!), teishamarie, GimmeABeat, Emma-girl, Merina Green, MissJessica92, jess, Kookie-chan, yueyuuko, kaylamarie2012, Nobody42, and Scorp112. I enjoyed each and every one of your reviews; even a little blurb just telling me you like it and to write more sends me into a fit of giggles similar to that which Bella suffers after Carlisle drops her off at home. I'm so not exaggerating – they totally make my day. :-)

Coming soon: Bella has words for Carlisle. Some of them aren't so ladylike. Stay tuned.


	4. Tanked

_**The Kindness of Semi-Strangers**_

By Freddie Stardust

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing – Stephenie Meyer is the genius behind the _Twilight_ series. I make no money from writing this story.

_Chapter Four – Tanked_

* * *

_Vampire. Vampire. Vampire._

I paced the length of my room, trying to keep from panicking. Carlisle was a vampire. His family? Vampires. Edward?

Oh God. Edward. He was probably trying not to eat me that day in biology. That's why the Cullens were avoiding me – not only was I a potentially delicious meal, I was also getting too close to their little secret…

"_Little _secret? Ha!" I scoffed, stopping in the middle of my room. I wasn't sure how I felt. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit terrified. After all, blood-sucking, red-eyed monsters were only supposed to exist in Craven movies and nightmares, not in real life. I was also curious – could it really be true? Was I among mythical creatures?

And finally, surprising me the most, I was angry. I was pissed that they had kept the secret from me. Sure, it was unusual, to say the least, but didn't I have the right to know that I was in the presence of creatures that could end me in three seconds flat?

I was also angry at Carlisle for doing his stupid vampire magic to make me forget what I had been through with Edward in the parking lot. How presumptuous! How insulting!

"Stupid fucking vampires!" I spat, kicking a stuffed bunny across the room. I looked at it for a moment, and then dashed over to it to pick it up, apologize, and toss it on the bed.

"Cute rabbit."

I spun around, grasping my chest and squeaking at Edward's sudden appearance in my bedroom.

"My heart can't take another surprise, Edward," I wheezed, running a hand through my hair nervously.

"I heard you've figured us out," he said, leaning on the windowsill.

"How'd you know? And how did you get in here?"

Edward grinned at me. "I told you. I heard. You're up here practically shouting about us being vampires." He gestured to the open window. "And that's how I got in."

I stood my ground as he stalked toward me, doing his best to look both alluring and menacing – and he was succeeding.

"What are you doing?"

He lost the lopsided smirk I was growing so fond of and stood just inches from me. "The question, Bella, is more what are _you _doing."

_Huh?_

"Huh?"

Edward started sauntering closer, and I inched backward reflexively until I was, tritely enough, against my bedroom door.

"You're hanging out with a dangerous group of people, Bella." His eyes flashed black. "People who find the smell of your blood more tantalizing than most blood. People who could kill you before you could bat an eyelash." He stepped back suddenly, and before I could even take a breath, he was across the room.

"We're no good for you, Bella. You should stay away."

I was suddenly incredibly indignant. "What the _hell _is your problem, Edward Cullen?"

He raised an eyebrow. "I beg your pardon?"

"Are you always so controlling?" I spat, waving my arms wildly in a gesture of irritation. Or craziness. "I will be friends with whomever I so choose, and there's really nothing you can do about it!"

"But your blood, Bella, it practically sings to me." Edward closed his eyes, still as stone. "I've never wanted anyone so badly."

I felt a bit of shame layering over the anger. "Is it that bad?"

"Only for me. The others certainly notice its… fragrance, if you will, but it's only overwhelming for me."

I thought for a moment, truly feeling bad for snapping at him. It wasn't his fault that Carlisle had lied to me, and it certainly wasn't his fault for being a vampire, as far as I knew.

"If it's that bad, you don't have to be around me. I'll understand." I shrugged, playing with the end of a lock of hair. "I just hadn't made any real friends yet, and you seemed…"

"Deadly? Terrifying? A monster?"

"Nice," I finished, rolling my eyes at his dramatic tendencies. "You seemed, and still seem, really nice." I walked over to him, laying a hand on his arm. "I'll understand," I repeated.

Edward gave me a small smile. "It's actually a relief to have a friend. The Cullens don't usually get to make friends outside the family – we can't exactly be open about what we are."

"I appreciate you trusting me," I told him.

"I appreciate you not screaming your head off when you figured it out," Edward said with a smirk. He patted my hand, still trying not to inhale deeply. "I'd really still like to be friends. But it's going to take some getting used to for me. You might not want to touch me too much, for one thing."

I removed my hand from his arm as if I had been electrocuted. "I'm so sorry! I'm such an idiot sometimes, I…"

"Hey now," he interrupted, laughing. "Don't worry about it. It's not exactly like there's a code of etiquette for human-vampire interaction."

Damned blush. Now that I knew my blood was to him what the smell of fresh cookies was to me, I cursed the blush even more. It's not like he needed the extra reminder of what he was missing out on.

"Do you want me to tell you about us?"

"The Cullens? Or vampires in general?" I asked, flopping down on the edge of my bed.

"Vampires. You can ask the Cullens themselves," he said. "I'd like for you to meet them."

"I'd like that," I said genuinely with a smile. "All right. Let me have it."

Edward flopped down next to me, and I laughed as I was launched a foot in the air upon his landing.

_I'll bet he doesn't get to have "normal" moments like this very much, _I thought sadly as I watched him laugh. He was beautiful when he smiled; from what I had seen in school, he didn't do it very often. People seemed to avoid the Cullens. Whether it was because they were ridiculously good-looking to the point of being intimidating or because they purposely avoided people to keep from eating them, I didn't know, but it was still heartbreaking.

I was so lost in thought that I didn't notice Edward studiously observing me.

"What?" I asked, suddenly self-conscious under his topaz gaze.

"You looked sad," he remarked, rolling onto his side and propping up on his elbow to watch me.

I mirrored his action. "Honestly? I was just thinking how… well, you just don't seem…"

"It'll be nice to have a friend," Edward said softly, so soft that I almost didn't hear him. "It's been a long time since I could be myself."

I wanted to squeeze his hand in reassurance, but at the same time I didn't want to cause him discomfort. He made the decision for me and took my hand.

"Thank you," he said.

I bit my lip, feeling a bit out of sorts. "You're, um, welcome?"

Edward laughed again and released my hand. "So where should I start?" he wondered aloud.

"The beginning is usually a good place," I said with a laugh.

"The beginning it is, then."

* * *

Several hours later, Edward and I were still lying on my bed, chatting about anything and everything. My childhood, his childhood, vampire habits, Forks in the summer, his frustration over not being able to read my mind…

"I'm glad you finally got a cell phone," Edward said, plucking it off my nightstand and punching in his number. "Decided to join the twenty-first century, eh?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Your father insisted."

"And so do I," Edward agreed, replacing my phone on the table. "With that relic you call a vehicle, you're going to need it to call a tow truck one day."

"I love my truck!" I whined. "Why does everyone give me crap about it?"

"It's old."

"So are you," I retorted.

"Touché!" Edward grinned.

"Speaking of your father," I began, letting the irritation bubble up in me, "He and I need to have a little chat."

"And why is that?"

"He dazzled me into forgetting about you saving my life," I said, pursing my lips. "How rude was that?"

"He was just trying to protect you from us," Edward started.

"Oh please. I'm all grown up and wearing big girl panties now. I can decide who I want to be friends with." I crossed my arms and fell back against my pillow in a huff.

"Want to go see him?"

"Now?" That was unexpected. I hadn't had time to prepare a proper rant yet, but the prospect of an improvised tirade was rather appealing.

"I can assure you he'll be awake," Edward drawled.

I rolled my eyes. "Sure. I'll get my keys."

Edward shook his head violently, gesturing back and forth as he did so. "Over my undead body. We'll run."

I stared at him blankly, hand still outstretched toward my dresser where my keys lay. "I'm sure that somewhere in our little heart-to-heart I mentioned the fact that a mere step forward for me is life-threatening. I don't run."

He laughed, and I tried my damndest not to be dazzled. "I mean _I'll _run and _you'll _hang on tight."

Before I could protest, I was on his back and we were jumping right out the window. I suppressed a scream for fear of waking Charlie and wrapped my legs as tightly around Edward's waist as I could, knowing it was impossible for me to hurt him, mere mortal that I was.

Edward moved fast. And by fast, I mean approximately 3.279 light years per second. I felt my hours-old dinner coming back to life in my stomach and swallowed hard, closing my eyes to avoid seeing the blur of Forks as we ripped through.

"We're here." Edward slowed down and then deposited me on the ground.

"That took, like, fifteen seconds," I mumbled, placing my hands on my knees and hunching over to make the world stop spinning.

"And that was a lot slower than I usually go," he said, smirking at my obvious discomfort.

Sadistic bastard. And I loved it. Lord knows if I could zing him back somehow, I would.

Once I felt like I was no longer in danger of heaving, I looked at my surroundings. His house was _insane_. All I could really gather from my first dazed impression was that it was huge and it was mostly made of glass.

"I don't think anyone's home right now," Edward remarked, leading me to the front door.

"How can you tell?"

He tapped his head. "Can't hear anyone's thoughts."

I blushed, chastising myself silently for forgetting so quickly.

"Hey," Edward said softly, giving me a reassuring smile. "It's a lot to absorb in only a few hours. Don't worry if it takes a while to remember everything."

Before I could get my foot any further in my mouth, Edward opened the door for me and I stepped inside.

"Wow."

It was the only fitting word for this place. The foyer alone looked like it was out of a page from _Home & Garden_. I could have fit my entire house in the entryway.

"Is this another vampire superpower?"

Edward furrowed his perfect brow. "Is what a superpower?"

"Interior design." I spun around slowly, trying not to trip on anything, including my feet. There were far too many vases in here for my own good.

Edward chuckled, surveying the room for himself. "No. That's just Esme's hobby."

"Esme?" I inquired. I hadn't seen her in school or around town yet. _Please don't let her be Carlisle's wife. Please don't let her be Carlisle's wife._

"She's our mother," Edward informed me.

My heart dropped faster than the Tower of Terror ride I went on at Disney World three summers ago. "I didn't realize Carlisle was married."

"He's not."

Edward was being infuriatingly vague, and from the smirk on his face, I had a feeling it was intentional.

"So she's…"

"Carlisle turned her to become his mate, but there was nothing there. No chemistry, I guess you would say. So they're more like a brother and sister to each other, and a mother and father to the rest of us." He gestured for me to follow him further into the house. "You'll find out more once you've been around longer."

I grinned at him. "So I'm allowed to hang out with the big, bad vampire family?"

Edward sighed dramatically. "Since you're bound and determined… Yes, I think it would be nice to have some fresh blood in the house."

"Ha."

After a quick tour of the house, which left me feeling sufficiently overwhelmed, we settled down in the kitchen. Edward offered me a drink, which I gratefully accepted.

But I wasn't expecting a glass of Chianti.

"Um, you know I'm only seventeen, right?" I asked, looking warily at the expensive crystal goblet in front of me.

Edward raised an eyebrow. "You're telling me you've never had a drink."

I bit my lip lightly. "Phil and I would always share beers when there was a game on, but I've never had much of a taste for alcohol."

"No pressure. If you drink it, fine. If not, I'd expect nothing less from the police chief's daughter." He gave me a quick wink before turning to put the cork back in the bottle.

I reached out and grasped the glass with both hands, nearly knocking it over in the process.

"You should have given me a kid's cup," I muttered, sniffing the wine delicately. "Do you guys even drink this?"

"It's for company's sake. We try to maintain a normal, _human_ appearance."

I took a sip and was surprised to find I didn't hate it. "This is really good. Thanks."

"You're welcome."

After that glass, I had another. And after that, a half of yet another. By the time Edward picked me up and carried me into the living room, I was giggling inanely.

"What's so funny?" Edward asked with a barely-concealed grin. Bastard thought liquoring me up was _hilarious_.

I giggled again. "You."

"Me?"

"You," I affirmed with an overly enthusiastic nod. "You carried me."

"You were a bit too light on your feet, I'm afraid."

"Trying to get me drunk and have your way with me?" I asked as he set me gently on the couch. He was out of the room and then back with a glass of water before I could blink.

"Ha," he scoffed. "Sorry, but I don't generally take advantage of someone who's… er, incapable of… um…"

"You're cute when you're flustered," I said before I could stop myself. I took a sip of water. "Do vampires even have sex?"

"Well," Edward blubbered, "I… we can… but I… Good heavens… um…"

I burst into laughter at his obvious discomfort. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew this would be much less funny when I was sober, but for now, the big, bad vampire's stammering was better than an episode of Robot Chicken.

"Perhaps I should take you home."

"At two in the morning? Drunk? Charlie will kill you. Or try. And then your cover's blown," I pointed out, complete with an explosion gesture and sound effects.

"Drink your water," Edward muttered, flopping beside me and turning on the television.

We watched Scrubs until my Drunkometer had gone from "Spangled Off My Tits" to "Slightly Inappropriate."

Just as Edward was turning off the television to take me home, the front door opened quietly, and before the sound of it closing reached my ears, Carlisle Cullen was standing in the living room.

"Morning Carlisle," Edward greeted. He nodded in my direction. "Bella has something she'd like to say to you." He turned to me with a smirk, and I wished twelve kinds of evil on him.

Carlisle turned to me with a polite and expectant look.

I took a gulp, relying on my lingering buzz to provide me with the words with just the right combination of resentment and spite to hit him in his cold, unbeating heart.

"Um… hi."

* * *

A/N: I've had a request for a sestina for this chapter's "Katie Begs For Reviews" poem. That's a bit lengthy, but kudos for creativity, Tetiani! Let's try a limerick:

Doc Carlisle came to my bed

To get a good rest for his head

It was such a drag

'Til we started to shag

The noise could've woken the dead

Yeah. So review. :-)

Just a little reminder: Bella is still 17. Underage drinking is so not cool, but it happens. Nearly everyone does it at some point, even if it's just a sip of beer or wine. But I'm not endorsing it. Before I hit 21, I had a lot of friends who would do some heavy drinking, and they're not in great places in their life right now. Not saying it's a matter of causation, but seriously – there are better ways to have fun. Go go-karting. Mini golf. Sports of any type. Go draw on your driveway with chalk (I totally still do it). Read. Write. Get a pet. Join clubs. DON'T DRINK. Frankly, once you're of legal age in whatever country you live in, drinking isn't a big deal anymore. It's the concept of the forbidden fruit that makes it so much fun.

Okay, spiel over. Let me step down from my soapbox… *thud* Or fall. That's cool too.

Now, on to my next order of business. Once again, Bella is still 17. Carlisle's not going to tap anything underage. I mean, come on, he's a couple hundred years old with morals that are also a couple hundred years old. He can wait a couple more months to hit it. I'm not going to dilly-dally with the story though – Bella's going to be 18 and raring to go in another chapter or two.

Oops. That might've been a spoiler. But honestly, the pairing for the summary listing is Bella & Carlisle, and that's spoiler enough.

Glad you're all enjoying this so far! Many thanks to everyone adding me or my story as a Favorite or Alert. I cherish each and every email from telling me someone else thought my story wasn't absolute rubbish.

Without further ado, my thanks to my lovely reviewers: Kookie-chan, jamielynn25, Scorp112, weird-and-strange, aerobee82, acw1, heartless13, Nevaehell, B-RizzleDizzle, Emma-girl, Leah (your poems are better than mine… hehe), MissJessica92, Jasper'sBaltimoreBabe, Nissa-Cullen (thanks for all your feedback!), PrincessGBRS, xxbabyxox, Dist12, yueyuuko, Kathy Hiester, brighteyes343, twilightz-vampire, notashamedtobesoilyfan, Tetiani, and Surgery-Girl. You guys made me alternately laugh, cry (with joy, of course), and grin like a madwoman. Many thanks to you all!

The next update won't take two weeks. I was on a trip last Thursday through Monday, and then work took up all my free time. Should have an update by this Thursday. Woot woot!

Next: Bella has more words for Carlisle. Hopefully they're a bit more dignified than "um" and "hi." Also, some much-needed romance…


	5. The Countdown Begins

_**The Kindness of Semi-Strangers**_

By Freddie Stardust

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing – Stephenie Meyer is the genius behind the _Twilight_ series. I make no money from writing this story.

_Chapter Five – The Countdown Begins_

* * *

_Nice. Very attractive, Bella._

"Hi yourself," Carlisle replied with a smirk. He took off his coat and draped it across the back of the sofa, and then walked around to take a seat in an armchair to my right. "I have a feeling that's not all you wanted to tell me, though."

Edward leaned back into the couch with an anticipatory grin as I fumbled for words.

"You're right. I've got words for you. Devastating ones, at that."

Carlisle shot Edward a look, and he looked sheepish for a moment. "Just a couple glasses," he replied to an unspoken question.

"Hey!" I snapped, speaking a bit louder than I usually did. "No silent conversations! I'm a human, remember? Manners much?" And I was apparently a mouthy drunk. Great. Fucking great.

Luckily, Edward and Carlisle both looked amused rather than angry, which only served to piss me off even more.

"Is this _funny_?" I hissed. Unhappily, I lost a bit more of my buzz in the moment it took for my words to make it from my brain to my mouth, and I remembered I was a guest in someone else's house. And that particular someone else could probably kill me eighteen different ways with just his pinky.

I decided it would be an ideal time to make a dramatic exit, i.e. turn tail and run for it, but instead I tripped on the rug and fell flat on my face. Or at least, I should have.

Carlisle had sped to my side and twisted me around so that I fell gracefully into his waiting arms instead of letting me get better acquainted with the hardwood floor, which I probably deserved after my mini rampage. I had come to his house, gotten drunk, and yelled at him, when all he and his family were guilty of was saving my life on several occasions. _Wow, Bella. You've hit a new low._

"Edward, why don't you go hunt now," Carlisle said quietly. " I'll take care of Bella."

Edward inclined his head slightly and was gone like a flash. Meanwhile, I still lay incredibly exposed in Carlisle's arms.

"Sorry," I mumbled, blushing and looking anywhere but his eyes.

To my surprise, Carlisle just smiled. "I should be apologizing. It's rude to laugh when someone is genuinely upset." He carried me back to my spot on the sofa and sat down next to me. "You've figured it out."

I nodded. "It all made sense."

Carlisle chuckled. "It shouldn't make any sense. We're only supposed to exist in the novels of Bram Stoker and the warped imaginations of Hollywood screenwriters."

"But you _were _human," I insisted. "It's not as if you guys are these heartless, soulless monsters that prey on innocent humans. You're really decent people – just a bit different."

"I don't know how many people would see it that way," Carlisle said thoughtfully, "But thank you for being so remarkably understanding, Bella."

_God I love to hear him say my name…_

"Thanks for saving my life a couple dozen times," I said, laughing. "You certainly weren't obligated."

"No," Carlisle agreed, "But what kind of 'heartless, soulless monster' would I be if I let anything happen to you?"

"True," I said thoughtfully. I took another sip of water, finally feeling my head clearing up. "I really am sorry. It's bad manners to get drunk in someone else's house and yell at them." I blushed deeply and tried to hide it behind my glass of water.

I felt Carlisle take the hand that wasn't wrapped around my glass, squeezing it gently. I was drawn to his caramel eyes, my blush deepening.

"Bella," he whispered, my one hand between his two. "It wasn't your fault. My idiot son doesn't remember human limits."

His eyes were drawing me in, and I was getting a warm, fuzzy feeling in my stomach. _Wait… What?_

"Stop dazzling me, damn it!" I squeaked, leaping to my feet. Thankfully I had a bit of my already-scarce balance back and didn't immediately top over.

"What?" Carlisle asked, obviously trying not to laugh.

"You dazzled me into forgetting about Edward saving me, and now you're dazzling me into… I don't know what exactly, but stop it!" I said, lips pursed. "I'm not a fan of people manipulating me without my consent. Or with my consent, for that matter." I growled in frustration and made for the door.

I yelped when Carlisle suddenly appeared in front of me, his hands gently grasping my forearms. "I apologize for what I did regarding Edward," he said quietly. "But I'm afraid I wasn't dazzling you just now."

"Beg pardon?"

"I think that was all in your mind. Or your heart." He cocked his head to the side, smirking. "Or somewhere lower."

_Kill. Me. Now._

"And just what are you suggesting?" I stammered, so far past blushing at this point. _God, if you're up there, show me some mercy and smite me. NOW._

"When's your birthday, Bella?"

I couldn't speak. My throat was closed up. Perhaps I was going into anaphylaxis. _Thank you God. _I gurgled a bit, which I'm sure sounded very sexy to the vampire who was inching closer and closer.

"When – is – your – birthday?"

"September 13," I managed to say.

Carlisle growled so softly that I wasn't even sure it had happened, and then he released my arms and backed off a few steps. "We'll talk more then." His voice was full of promise, and it made me a bit weak in the knees. "But in the meantime, my home is your home. Edward, would you like to take Bella back to Chief Swan's house now?"

"Sure."

I gasped and whirled around to see Edward standing behind me, his eyes even lighter than before.

"If I die of a heart attack…"

"Then we won't be able to properly celebrate your birthday," Carlisle finished with a grin. "Sleep well, Bella."

I was going to sleep well, all right. And I bet I'd sleep even better after my eighteenth birthday.

* * *

"What do you think, Bella?"

I sighed as Jessica held up yet another pair of shoes that were a fraction of a shade darker than the last pair of pink shoes she had shown me.

"Those are great," I said halfheartedly.

"I think they're the ones," Jessica announced, admiring them. Then she caught sight of another pair in her peripheral vision. "Oooh!"

Angela rolled her eyes, holding the shoes she had picked out forty minutes ago.

"We're going to be here all weekend at this rate," she murmured, trotting off after Jessica.

It was Prom Shopping: Part Deux in Port Angeles. I hadn't been back in the city since my encounter with Carlisle and Jasper a month and a half ago. Prom was a couple of weeks away, and every girl save me was beginning to panic about not having the right accessories, the perfect hairstyle, a great body, et cetera et cetera. Even stoic Angela was a bit worried about the way her dress fit, despite my honest assurances that she looked beautiful.

Just as I was about to pass out next to the wedge heels, I heard a beautiful, bell-like voice. "Hi Bella!"

I turned, wondering who of the eight people I knew at Forks High was stalking me today.

"Alice?"

It was Alice Cullen, Edward's younger sister.

"Would you like to come get some lunch?" she asked hopefully. "Of course your friends can come along, too."

"Um, yeah, that'd be great," I said, looking back over my shoulder at Jessica and Angela. Jessica had paused from perusing the shoes long enough to stare, no doubt wondering why the untouchable Alice Cullen was bothering to talk to me, Bella Swan, a nobody, instead of her.

"Lunch sounds divine!" she squealed, dropping whatever shoes she was holding hostage. "Ang?"

Angela cringed at the nickname, but gave Alice and I a warm smile. "Absolutely. If I see another pair of stilettos, I'll fall on them samurai-style."

Jessica and Angela bought The Chosen Shoes, and then we walked over to a café down the street. While Angela and Jessica browsed the menu at the counter, Alice and I hung back to talk.

"So," I began, feeling incredibly awkward. "What brings you to Port Angeles?"

"You," Alice said matter-of-factly.

"Me."

"That's right." Alice gave me a friendly smile and put her hand on my shoulder. "You and Edward are friends, and you and Carlisle are…friends." She winked, and I blushed. Naturally. "And we're going to be great friends."

"What are you guys going to have?" Jessica asked, bouncing over with an eager grin directed at Alice.

_That girl has issues_.

"I'm just going to grab a salad from…"

"Alice? Can I order something for you?" Jessica said, cutting over me impatiently.

"I'll have what Bella's having," Alice said politely. Jessica looked a bit crestfallen, returning to the cashier's counter with a pout.

I rolled my eyes and Alice giggled.

"It seems the Cullens are the people everyone wants to know in this town," I remarked, grabbing a salad from the cold case for myself and another salad that Alice would probably only pretend to eat.

"And by 'everyone' you mean Jessica," Alice said with another roll of her beautiful eyes. "She's something else. At least Lauren Mallory leaves us alone."

We ate our food at a table by the window, watching the passersby and listening to Jessica gossip about the latest teen drama at school. Apparently a senior girl was having an affair with one of the teachers – surprise, surprise. That was barely news in Phoenix, it happened so often.

"Oh Lord," Jessica said mid-sentence, clutching her stomach.

"You alright?" Angela asked, looking concerned. I watched with morbid fascination as Jessica suddenly dashed to the bathroom.

"Food poisoning," Alice announced, looking neither surprised nor concerned.

"How can you tell?" I asked.

"Just a hunch."

After Jessica was done regurgitating her meal, Angela took her back to Forks and Alice volunteered to bring me home later, as she needed an opinion on an outfit for a date. As soon as they were gone, Alice breathed a sigh of relief.

"You know, I think Angela is wonderful, but that Jessica…" She shook her head.

"She's overwhelming," I agreed. I regarded her with curiosity. "So how could you really tell it was food poisoning? I mean, I know you guys have heightened senses and everything, but I thought Carlisle was the only doctor in the family."

Alice grinned at me, practically skipping down the street and dragging me along behind her. "I have a knack for predicting the future."

"Can all of you do that?" I asked, half-jogging to keep up with the tiny little vampire.

"Nope. Edward can read minds, I can tell the future. But it's never certain – someone could choose a different path, and the entire future could change."

"Doesn't that get… I don't know, creepy?"

Alice shrugged. "It is taxing sometimes. But I try to stay positive." She gave me a cheery smile and pulled me into a store that looked far too expensive for my meager budget.

"Wait, I thought that story about needing a shopping companion was just a cover," I protested, trying in vain to pull Alice back out of the store.

"Are you kidding?" Alice almost looked really offended. "Of course we're shopping!" She gave me a drawn-out once-over, and I suddenly felt very underdressed.

"Fine. But I need to be back by six – I've got a test in biology on Monday to study for."

"That should be plenty of time to fill you in on the rest of the family," Alice said happily, dragging me once more to the back of the store where some very intimidating dresses hung on a rack.

Despite my every instinct telling me to run as far from those price tags as possible, I suddenly felt that Alice and I really were going to be great friends.

* * *

"Great dinner, Bells," Charlie said with an appreciative grunt, rubbing his full belly.

"Thanks," I said, taking his plate and mine to the sink. Charlie and Billy had caught another five thousand pounds of fish this weekend, and I had a feeling I would be sick of fried catfish within a week. Probably wasn't great for my waistline either.

"School's good?" Charlie asked, looking a bit awkward. Small talk wasn't his forte; that must be genetic.

"I'm getting good grades, making nice friends, all that jazz," I replied, opening the dishwasher.

"I heard you've been hanging out with the Cullens."

I froze. "Is that a bad thing?"

"No, no!" Charlie exclaimed, chuckling. "Those poor kids haven't made a real friend since they moved here. I just thought it was… I don't know, nice of you or something."

I rolled my eyes even though my back was to my dear, deluded father. Poor kids indeed. "It's no big deal. They're nice, and they don't gossip like most of the kids at school."

"It's a small town, Bells. They've got nothing better to do."

"I know."

We went back to our comfortable silence for the rest of the night. I semi-watched a ball game with Charlie for ten minutes or so before calling it a night.

As I washed my face and brushed my teeth, my thoughts were, as usual, preoccupied with a blond, beautiful vampire who was apparently after more than just my blood.

I shuddered in excited anticipation. Countdown to birthday: four months.

* * *

A/N: And now, for my poetic plea for reviews, a cinquain in honor of Tetiani:

carlisle  
sexy devil  
thrusting, pounding, panting  
this man is freaking sex on legs  
woof woof

If you agree, leave a review!

Sorry for the update delay! I really don't have a great excuse, other than work has been intensely busy and I'm house-sitting for a friend who went on a cruise to the Mediterranean (yes, I'm insanely jealous). I know it's also a bit shorter than usual, but the next segment would have made the chapter uber-long, so I split it up.

This had a tiny, itty-bitty hint of lemon – more like lemon zest than actual lemon. But never fear: lemons are on the way!

I'm not sure if I'll be able to update again by this Thursday, but I'll try to get a chapter up over the weekend, and then hopefully I'll be back on schedule to every Thursday.

Much love to everyone favoriting/alerting me, and even more love to everyone reviewing – you guys are the reason I'm writing, and I love knowing that you all are enjoying the story. Seriously, what fun would it be to write if there were no readers?

Shout-outs to my boos: Kathy Hiester, acw1, Nevaehell, StormDragonfly, aerobee82, Kookie-chan, Blood Red Vampress, bb1028, lifelesslyndsey, Tetiani (I like Eddie boy better as a friend, too), B-RizzleDizzle, Harleygreen, jamielynn25, Officially Confused (maybe, maybe not! We'll see…), TLMorris, notashamedtobesoilyfan, Nissa-Cullen (lemons are on the way! And we'll meet the family in the next chaper – should be quite an adventure), rebelangel566, and lilminx22. As always, I thank you kindly for sharing your encouragement, frustration, and giggles. :-)

Next up: we meet the rest of the family, and perhaps one hell of a birthday party…


	6. Oh Hi

_**The Kindness of Semi-Strangers**_

By Freddie Stardust

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing – Stephenie Meyer is the genius behind the _Twilight_ series. I make no money from writing this story.

_Chapter Six – Oh Hi_

* * *

"You look wonderful, Bella. They aren't going to care what you wear."

I paused long enough to roll my eyes at Edward, who was casually sprawled across my bed, before resuming my frantic search of my dresser drawers. Normally I didn't give two shits what people thought of my clothes, but tonight was different. I was meeting _the family_.

Since my forced shopping expedition with Alice, I was admittedly a bit more fashion-conscious. I wanted to look… I don't know what exactly, but I wanted to make a good first impression on my two new best friends' family. Especially after Carlisle's intriguing question about my birthday…

Prom had come and gone. Alice had, at the last minute, implored me to go. I had refused to go until Edward worked his charm on me and took me as his date. Though Alice had been positively giddy at the opportunity to do my hair and pick my dress, I was adamant about the shoes – it was flats or a no go.

I won.

The school year had just ended, and though I had seen the rest of the family – damn, I was making them sound like the freaking mafia – on a few occasions at school, I had never been formally introduced. Tonight Alice had invited me over for dinner, despite my protestations that I would be the only one eating and it would therefore be silly, and I was going to have to converse with the beautiful people all night.

Shoot me now.

"Of course they're going to care," I retorted, flipping various articles of clothing out of the dresser and over my head. "Alice will have my head if I show up in jeans and a tee shirt. Plus, your family is freaking _gorgeous_. I can't look like a slob, especially in front of Ca…" I shut my mouth quickly and threw myself into my work, trying to fend off my blush.

"In front of _Carlisle_?" Edward teased in a singsong voice. I remained silent, but the blush returned in spades.

"Shut it Cullen." I threw more clothes out of the dresser, sighing heavily and putting my hands on my hips in exasperation. "What the hell do I wear?"

"Well, any of these should work."

I turned, hoping Edward had a brilliant idea, and was instead greeted by the sight of him with several pairs of panties and a couple of shirts hooked over his ears and slung over his shoulders.

"Edward!" I exclaimed, trying not to giggle.

"You threw them!" he protested, shaking himself like a dog to get the clothes off. A pair of black panties remained hooked over his ear, and he was too lazy to pluck them off.

That did it. The image of the bloodthirsty, terror-inducing vampire lounging on my bed with his hands behind his head and a pair of panties on his ear was my undoing.

I laughed so hard I could barely breathe.

"I love you Edward," I gasped through the laughter.

He rolled his eyes and grinned at me. "Love you too Bella. Now get ready."

I couldn't stop laughing, so Edward took it upon himself to race through my room at warp speed, managing to pick out a cute outfit and put all of my clothes neatly back in my drawer in about five seconds flat.

He pushed the clothes into my arms and shooed me toward the bathroom.

"Alice will kill me if you're not there on time," he chastised, hands on his hips.

I snorted with laughter, snatching my panties from his ear. "Fine, fine. I'll be out in a minute."

As I shut the bathroom door, I could practically hear him shaking his head at me. I finally examined the clothes in my arms: black skinny jeans, a deep blue tunic, and black suede boots that came to my knee.

"You forgot my…"

A matching blue bra was shoved under the door before I could finish my sentence.

"Thank you!" I called, giggling again. I dearly loved that boy.

* * *

"Bella!" Alice squealed as she opened the door, embracing me. She turned to Edward next. "Oh. Hi."

Edward grabbed the little vampire and began tickling her. "Oh hi?" he teased, making her giggle uncontrollably.

"Stop! You'll… you'll ruin my… my makeup!" Alice gasped.

Edward laughed and released her with a slight shove into the front hall, where I saw a breathtakingly beautiful woman who I could only assume was Esme.

"Bella!" she exclaimed, coming forward to give me a tender hug. In spite of my carefully crafted stoic demeanor, I found myself leaning into her arms and getting a bit warm and fuzzy. "It's wonderful to meet you!"

I smiled fondly at her, knowing immediately why the others saw her as their mother. "I've heard so many wonderful things about you, Mrs. Cullen," I said, trying to be as polite as possible for my first formal impression.

"Please, call me Esme," she insisted. "Can I get you a drink?"

"Um, sure, I'll take a ginger ale if you have it," I said awkwardly. Had they really stocked up on food, or as Edward called them, the "humanities," on my account?

"Coming right up," she said with a smile as she headed into the kitchen.

I tried to look around subtly for a certain blond vampire, but Edward caught me red-handed, or rather, red-cheeked.

"Work," he muttered as he walked past me.

My heart fell a bit, and I chastised myself for caring so much. Way to be cool and collected, Bella.

"Bella, I'd like you to meet Jasper, my husband," Alice announced from behind me. I turned to see a tall drink of gorgeous blond water in cowboy boots.

"Nice to meet you," he said in a quiet but friendly voice. _Dude's got charisma._

"It's nice to meet you when I'm not playing the damsel in distress," I said awkwardly, not sure if I should shake hands or not.

Jasper grinned and nodded. "I'm more than happy to be your knight in shining armor," he said, "as long as you're not bleeding."

"Jasper hasn't been a vegetarian as long as the rest of us," Esme told me, appearing at my side with a glass of ginger ale.

"Oh, sorry, am I making you uncomfortable?" I said quickly, feeling horrifically self-conscious.

"You're fine, Bella," he said with a laugh. "You'll forgive me, though, if I keep my distance."

I nodded perhaps a bit too enthusiastically. I certainly wasn't uncomfortable around vampires, but I still didn't want to end up as an entrée.

As I sipped at my ginger ale, the front door opened, and for as beautiful as the couple was that walked through it, it may as well have been Brangelina.

"Bella, this is Rosalie," the blond goddess nodded slightly in my direction, "and Emmett."

I saw only a streak of pale limbs and designer clothes before I was being hugged rather tightly by a bear of a man.

"Hey there Bells!" Emmett greeted, lifting me off the floor in his enthusiasm.

"Nice to meet you," I croaked, grateful that Edward had plucked my drink out of my hand before Hurricane Emmett hit me.

"Emmett, human," Rosalie reminded him.

"Oops!" He set me down gently and ruffled my hair affectionately. "You play Guitar Hero?"

I grinned widely. "You bet!"

Ten minutes later, Emmett and I were locked in an epic battle, with the rest of the Cullens cheering us on.

"Go Bella!" Alice squealed, clapping as I nailed a difficult solo.

"Hey!" Emmett whined, turning to glare at Alice without missing a single note. "I'm your brother!"

Alice shrugged. "Someone needs to take you down a notch. Plus, I've already seen the outcome, and I'd hate to be on the loser's side."

Emmett frowned, obviously wondering what she had seen, and his distraction gave me the opportunity to throw a broken string his way. He struggled valiantly, but I won by a hair.

"All right!" Alice whooped and pumped her fist in the air, an adorable contrast to her usually prim manner and tiny stature.

Edward tossed me in the air and laughed as I panicked. He easily caught me and set me on my feet.

"You've won the battle, but not the war," Emmett grumbled good-naturedly.

I patted him on the back, grinning. "If you can't take the heat…"

"Speaking of kitchens, dinner is served!" Esme called from the dining room.

I blanched. I had been dreading this part all night. The part where I, the human, sat and ate while the undead stared me down.

Jasper was watching me from across the room, and I suddenly felt incredibly calm. I raised an eyebrow at him, and he simply shrugged and winked. So that was what Alice had meant when she said he was a walking Percocet.

"Something wrong, Bella?" Esme asked as she ushered me into the dining room.

"I just feel like I'm inconveniencing you by having to eat, since you guys don't eat food," I admitted, my cheeks coloring.

"We could get our sippy cups of blood if it would make you feel better," Emmett piped up with a snicker.

Edward elbowed him in the ribs, but couldn't help smirking.

"It's no problem Bella," Esme insisted, leading me to a seat on one of the sides of the table. Thank goodness she hadn't put me at an end – I felt like enough of a pariah without presuming to take the head of the house's seat.

Ha. A pariah in a houseful of vampires. If I weren't about to vomit from nervousness, it might have been funny in an ironic sort of way.

Edward sat down next to me, with Alice on my other side and Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett across from us. Esme placed a plate in front of me and then sat at one of the ends of the table.

An easy conversation struck up about how I had trounced Emmett at Guitar Hero, and it almost felt like sitting at my family's table at Thanksgiving – everyone was bantering playfully, having a normal dinnertime conversation minus the dinner.

The food was delicious – Esme had made herb-roasted chicken with steamed asparagus and potatoes au gratin. I wasn't used to having such a hearty home-cooked meal that I hadn't made myself.

I had finished my food and was laughing at one of Jasper's stories when the front door opened.

"We're in the dining room Carlisle," Esme called. I'm sure he already knew, what with his vampire supersenses, but I was grateful to Esme for trying so hard to act human for my benefit.

Moments later, Carlisle appeared in the doorway, and I was glad I was done eating. I probably would have choked on whatever I was chewing, because he looked irresistible.

Edward raised an eyebrow at me, and I glared at him with as much menace as I could subtly muster.

_Don't say anything you crazy vampire motherfucker. Do and die. Again._

"We were wondering when you would get home," Edward said, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "Bella especially."

_Fuck double fuck clutsterfuck._ _I'LL KILL YOU._

"I work late on Saturdays so that I can stay home on Sundays," Carlisle explained, either oblivious to Edward's suggestive words or purposely disregarding them.

Esme stood and took my lone dish to the kitchen. That must have been the cue to disperse, because everyone started getting up from the table to mill about the house.

"It was great to finally meet you, Bella," Rosalie said, giving me a quick smile before flouncing upstairs.

"Rematch anytime Bells," Emmett challenged, squeezing me against him.

"Give me a call whenever you need as ass-whooping," I retorted with a grin.

"You wish," Emmett laughed before following Rosalie upstairs.

Jasper and Alice came through the figurative receiving line next.

"It's been a pleasure, but I'm afraid I must go find some dinner of my own," Jasper said, inclining his head toward me.

"And where he goes, I go," Alice said matter-of-factly. "Love you Bella. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow?"

"Sunday sale at the outlets, of course," Alice said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Uh, I might have to… um, climb Mount Kilimanjaro tomorrow," I lied blatantly, barely suppressing my grin. Edward wasn't so successful, and he got a flick in the ear from Alice.

"I'll call you," Alice said, giving me a firm look that told me I'd better wear comfortable shoes tomorrow.

The room was thinning out – Edward, Carlisle, and I were in the dining room, and Esme was still in the kitchen.

"Edward? Could you come unscrew this jar for me?" Esme called.

Edward was gone in a flash, leaving Carlisle and I completely alone in the candlelit room.

"Oh come on!" I exclaimed, indignant. "I'm not _that_ dumb!"

Carlisle chuckled as I gave an irritated grunt.

"Scheming vampires," I muttered. "She could probably pick up a semi with one hand, let alone unscrew a jar."

"I can't say I'm too disappointed at the sudden privacy," Carlisle murmured, strolling casually around the room to straighten a vase that was probably older than my family lineage.

_How would a sexy, sultry woman respond? Think, Bella, think!!_

"I like…privacy…" I managed to say.

Carlisle laughed, and I desperately wished for Scotty to beam me up. I gasped when Carlisle appeared only a few inches in front of me, reminding me of the last time we had been alone in this house.

"I like it when you're flustered," he said softly, caressing my cheek with his cool hand.

I couldn't help it – I moaned. It felt so damn good I could barely stand it.

"Three months, Bella," he whispered against my ear. And then, just as quickly as he had come, he was gone.

Edward sauntered back into the room with a shit-eating grin as I was trying to recover.

"Well, that jar was a stubborn one," he mused, cracking his knuckles for good measure.

"Edward, I swear if you say one word…" I tried to catch my breath, but it was proving to be a difficult feat.

"About what?" he said, feigning innocence. "Whatever are you talking about, my dear Bella?"

I shook my head and prayed that my body wasn't giving off any signs of arousal that these vampires could hear, see, or, God forbid, smell.

"Take me home, Cullen," I said with a laugh.

Edward squeezed my hand affectionately. "All right, squirt. It's nearly curfew."

After thanking Esme for her hospitality and vowing to return soon, Edward drove me home.

* * *

A few weeks later, I awoke to the bright July sun streaming in through my window. I stretched and yawned, glad that I had the day off from work. Honestly, I was getting rather sick of Mike Newton's advances. It was even worse now that he was dating Jessica; did he honestly think so little of me? Did I seem like the kind of person who would sleep with a friend's boyfriend? Or sleep with _anyone_, for that matter?

_I can think of someone…_

Shivering at the thought, I hopped out of bed and shuffled downstairs for coffee and the paper. Charlie had gone to work already, and the house was eerily, or perhaps comfortingly, silent.

A glance at the calendar hanging on the wall reminded me that time was running out for my v-card. Two months until my birthday…

Carlisle kept dropping hints that he certainly hadn't lost interest on the few occasions I saw him, either with a slight brush against my skin when he walked past or a particularly heated stare, or even a countdown of the days.

Someone else might find it creepy. I, however, found it incredibly, unbelievably sexy.

I inhaled the aroma of the coffee pot and let it overtake my lusty thoughts. I poured a cup, sugared and creamed the hell out of it, and sat down at the table. Charlie had left the paper behind, and a headline on the bottom of the front page caught my eye.

"Four Port Angeles Men Missing for Weeks: Police Baffled at Lack of Evidence."

Four pictures, three of them mug shots, were lined up underneath the headline. I stared at them in disbelief.

The missing men were the assholes that were harassing me in Port Angeles.

I narrowed my eyes. "Fucking vampires."

* * *

A/N: Before I even beg for reviews, let me apologize for the delay in updating. My iPhone and MacBook were stolen, and my new chapter went bye-bye. I got my laptop back, thankfully, but my iPhone appears to be gone for good. I've already gotten a replacement, but I've lost a lot of my notes for the story as well as my contacts, appointments, etc. So I offer my deepest, sincerest apologies for the lack of updates.

And now I beg for reviews in the form of not one, but TWO haikus (yes, that was chapter one's form, but I just love haikus):

Did you like this one?  
Want naked, sexy Carlisle?  
If so, please review!

Carlisle is sizzling  
Let's get him really drunk and  
Play doctor with him

To those who are favorite-ing and alert-ing me: I LOVE YOU. Seriously. I love you like Phoebe Price loves the paparazzi.

To those who reviewed: LET ME BEAR YOUR CHILDREN. I love you that much. Here are the individual shout-outs to my awesome reviewers:

mikelove, Nevaehell, aerobee82, heartless13, Merina Green, Tetiani, anmarie, Kathy Hiester, StormDragonfly (I like to think that Carlisle's a gentleman – outside the bedroom, of course!), Miss Jessica92, B-RizzleDizzle, xxbabyxox, Kookie-chan, notashamedtobesoilyfan, Sinthya Van Dan, 0, Selene Ruby Rose Snape, kelleygirl (I'm keeping everyone in the dark about Edward – it's fun to see what people are guessing!), silver drip, and Nissa-Cullen (we're going to get through the months as quickly as I possibly can! I want some hot Carlisle lovin'). If my love were a cookie, you all would have thirty dozen fresh, hot chocolate chip cookies.

Next time: What the hell happened to that creepy gang from Port Angeles? Sounds like someone was hungry… FOR JUSTICE. (shakes head) I apologize for being terribly lame. Also up next: That pesky little birthday is fast approaching…


	7. Hark! A Concussion Approaches

_**The Kindness of Semi-Strangers**_

By Freddie Stardust

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing – Stephenie Meyer is the genius behind the _Twilight_ series. I make no money from writing this story.

_Chapter Seven – Hark! A Concussion Approaches_

* * *

"Morning Bella," Edward cheerfully greeted me over the phone.

"What happened to those guys that attacked me in Port Angeles?" I demanded, skipping the pleasantries.

There was an eerie silence over the line; Edward wasn't even fake-breathing.

"I'm not sure I…"

"I know you know!" I squeaked, feeling my face grow red in my anger.

"Bella, calm down. I wasn't going to say I don't know, but it's not my place to tell you."

There was a shuffling noise on the other end, along with a whispered conversation that I couldn't make out.

"Hello Bella," came a soothing southern drawl.

"Jasper?"

"Would you like to go to lunch?"

I frowned, and then realized Jasper couldn't see it. Crap.

"Um, sure?" I was too confused and surprised to continue arguing.

"I'll pick you up at noon. See you soon."

Before I could say goodbye, there was another exchange of the phone. I sighed.

"Should I even ask?"

Edward chuckled. "No. Not until noon, anyway. And stop frowning; you'll get wrinkles. Love you."

I groaned. "Love you too. Bye Edward."

"Goodbye Bella."

I spent the rest of the morning lazing around the house, drinking coffee and watching cartoons. Mature, I know. Anyone who says they don't love cartoons in the morning is a damned liar.

By the time noon rolled around, I had showered and dressed in denim shorts, a green off-the-shoulder tee, and my new favorite black boots that Alice had insisted on buying for me "as an early birthday present, silly!" I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and headed downstairs just as there was a knock at the door.

Jasper stood on the other side of the screen door in jeans and a leather jacket.

"Bit warm for leather, isn't it?"

He smiled and gestured toward the driveway, where his Ducati stood waiting. He then held out another black leather jacket for me.

"Alice thought you would need this," he explained. "She also said not to worry about the ketchup you drop on it at lunch since it's not her favorite."

I rolled my eyes, still not used to the "gifts" the Cullens possessed. "Thanks." I took the jacket, slipped it on, and followed Jasper to the bike.

"Are you sure it'll be okay?" I asked, studying the bike.

"Clumsy as you are, I could still catch you before you fall," Jasper said as he straddled the huge motorcycle.

I pouted. "I meant me and my blood being pressed against your back. Does everyone seriously think I'm an accident waiting to happen?"

Jasper grinned. "Yes ma'am." He stretched his hand out to help me onto the bike, and with one last glare, I hopped on behind him.

We sped down 101 toward Port Angeles, but stopped about 10 miles down the road, near Beaver. Jasper pulled off to the right, zipping past a farm and then winding down several side roads into the woods. I briefly wondered whether I was about to become lunch before a clearing came into view. In the middle of the field was a picnic spread, complete with red-and-white-checkered blanket.

Despite my aversion to cooing, I couldn't help but do it at the sight of the picnic.

"Jasper, this is so nice!" I exclaimed, letting him help me off the back of the bike.

He grinned and shrugged, his face and hands sparkling in the bright sunshine. "I thought you'd like it."

After several minutes of eating – only me, of course, making me feel a bit pig-like – I couldn't help but blurt out what was on my mind.

"Jasper, what are we doing here?"

Jasper smiled and sighed a bit condescendingly, but not so much that I felt like a dumbass for asking. "Humans are so impatient."

I began to fire off an indignant retort simply to remind him that I had emotions, which I'm sure he could feel, but he held his hand up and laughed.

"It's not a bad thing. It's refreshing."

I felt a wave of calm settling in my chest, and instead of fighting it, I embraced it.

"When Carlisle and I intervened in Port Angeles, I informed my friends Peter and Charlotte that there were four rambunctious, vile humans that might make a good meal."

I blinked, understanding what he said but at the same time feeling horrified. "You mean, you just offered up four lives that weren't yours to give?"

"We have to eat, too, Bella," Jasper pointed out. "We all struggle with the nature of our existence, but the fact of the matter is, we must eat, or we die. Survival instincts overpower everything else for vampires, as is the case with puppies, bunnies, cheetahs, humans, and every other species. Would you rather we not exist?"

I felt my cheeks burn with shame, and I looked down at my hands, which I wrung furiously. "I'm sorry. I didn't think about it that way. It's just…"

"Scary," Jasper finished, reading my emotions. "It is. At any point in time, for a vampire to decide arbitrarily that you're his next meal… It's almost as sickening as rape or murder. Perhaps more so. But not all vampires have the self-control to live a 'vegetarian' lifestyle. And besides, most criminals like those four serve a few years and are released back into society – is that justice?"

I reached out for Jasper's hands and squeezed them. "No. It's not like that. I meant it's just a very hard, very sad thing to have to do. To make a choice between your life and someone else's on a regular basis – that's terrible. I have an incredible amount of respect for you and your family for your decision to deprive yourselves."

Jasper smiled and squeezed my hands back. "Thank you, Bella." He looked like he might cry if he were capable, but shook it off quickly. "Eat. Alice said to make sure you did, or else you'd get dizzy and fall off the bike. And if you began bleeding…"

"Vampires," I mumbled good-naturedly, wincing as I dropped ketchup on the leather jacket, as Alice had predicted. "I trust you not to devour me, even if you don't. So, tell me about Peter and Charlotte."

Jasper leaned back in the grass and put his hands behind his head, looking nostalgic. "Well, it all started in the 1860s, when I signed up as a soldier in the Confederate Army in Texas."

* * *

The picnic with Jasper was definitely the highlight of my day. The rest, for lack of a better word, sucked. Charlie sliced his hand open while struggling to cuff some drunk hunter, and he was as bad as a six-year-old when it came to injuries. I spent the rest of the evening cleaning it up and convincing him that it was incredibly unlikely that his hand would fall off.

In addition to that little ray of sunshine, Jessica called me and ranted for an hour and a half about her inattentive, flaky boyfriend, putting me far behind on an op-ed article I was writing for the local paper on the need for more economic development in Forks. For the time being, Jessica's anger about Mike forgetting that it was their 52-day anniversary or whatever took precedence over the lack of local commerce and employment.

And to top it all off, Jacob Black, this kid I'd had play-dates with when I was younger, had been calling me for weeks to try to get me to hang out, and tonight he had shown up on my doorstep to drag me to his house to see his car. I had no problem with Jake, and I actually found I enjoyed spending time with him, but he was unnecessarily cruel when talking about the Cullens. He also seemed to have a bit of a crush on me, and while he certainly wasn't bad-looking, I couldn't bring myself to feel the same way about the kid with whom I used to build Lego fortresses.

By the time I got back to my house, Charlie had passed out on the couch watching a baseball game, so I made myself a sandwich and took it up to my room. I closed the door behind me and turned around, almost having a heart attack when I did so.

"Edward, could you maybe, just _maybe _be normal and use the front door?" I gasped, clutching my chest and setting my plate on my desk. "One day you're going to kill me, and not by draining my blood."

Edward shrugged as he played with the Rubik's Cube I had purchased years ago and had yet to solve. "Nah. I prefer the element of surprise." He whirled the cube with superhuman speed and suddenly held it up, solved.

I glared at him. "Show-off."

"Human."

Edward tossed me the cube and hopped off my bed, peering at my mirror as he fluffed his hair. "I'm here to extend an invitation from the Cullens."

I raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Do tell."

"Baseball."

"What about it?" I asked, a feeling of dread growing in my stomach. "Do you guys own the Mariners or something?"

"Used to. No, this is an invitation to come play baseball, not watch it."

"Pardon?" I squeaked.

Edward rolled his eyes dramatically. "You're such a girl."

"Am not!" I protested. "Well, I am, but I'm not… You know what I mean!"

"Then why can't you play?"

"You saw me in gym class last week! I nearly broke Angela's nose with a Frisbee!"

Edward chuckled. "Oh yeah. That was classic. Wish I could've taped it and put it on YouTube."

"Edward!"

"Bella!" Edward mimicked, snickering.

I sighed heavily. "Fine. Whatever. But if I crack someone's skull open, I'm holding you accountable."

"Well, I see no danger of that. First of all, our bones are like steel. Secondly, Alice already checked. You'll be fine."

"When is this game happening?" I asked, flopping down on the bed and chucking the Rubik's Cube over my shoulder.

"Saturday…"

"I'm working!" I exclaimed triumphantly.

"At 4 o'clock." He pointed to my work schedule stuffed in the frame of my mirror. "After work."

"Damn it."

Edward gave me a crooked grin and ruffled my hair affectionately. I un-ruffled it un-affectionately.

"You'll have fun. And Carlisle's going to be there," Edward added in a sing-song voice.

I blushed hard. "Shut your face."

Edward laughed. "I love it when you blush."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Now get lost before I start my period."

The vampire grimaced. "Good God, Bella, do you really have to be so graphic?"

I shrugged. "Well, if you're certain you'll be okay around me when I'm…"

"Stop!" Edward put his hands over his ears. "I'm leaving, all right? Gross." He leapt out the window. I threw a tampon from my desk out after him, and it was batted right back up at me.

"Victory," I muttered, returning to my abandoned sandwich. I resorted to the Crimson Tide excuse whenever Edward was overstaying his welcome, and it never failed. Vampire or not, no teenage boy wanted to hear about _that_ time of the month.

* * *

The days dragged on after Edward's visit. Much to my dismay, I found myself looking forward to Saturday. It was a little pathetic that I would put myself through such baseball hell to spend a few hours with Carlisle, but I was so desperate for interaction with the blond bloodsucker that I was willing to resort to extreme recreational measures.

Jake and I hung out again on Friday after I got off work. He was laboring away on his carburetor when I suddenly had an idea.

"Hey Jake, you ever ridden a motorcycle?"

His head popped up from under the hood just long enough to give me a "bitch, please" look. "Is Joe Montana the greatest quarterback of all time?"

"I don't know, is he?"

Jake gave me another, more scathing look. "Yes to both questions. Why do you ask?"

"Technically I didn't ask about Joe Montana. You did."

"Bella."

"I think I'd like to learn how to ride a motorcycle," I admitted, remembering how much fun Jasper's Ducati had been.

"It's pretty dangerous. Charlie probably wouldn't be thrilled."

I rolled my eyes. "In two months I'll be eighteen, and then it doesn't really matter what he thinks about motorcycles. If I find a couple of junkers, do you want to fix them up?"

Jake finally put down his wrench and stood up to consider the offer. "Well, I guess it would be fun to work on something besides this wreck," he said thoughtfully, nudging the fender of the Rabbit with his knee.

"I'll pay for the bikes and any tools you need. Plus unlimited pizza and soda," I added, knowing he couldn't resist food.

He smiled widely. "Yeah, let's do it!"

"Sweet." I watched Jake get back to work on his car as I toyed with an old CB radio on his workbench. If I weren't so hooked on a certain vampire, Jake would be one hell of a catch.

* * *

Once I got home from the Blacks' house, I was a complete nervous wreck. Tomorrow after work, I would be showing off my non-existent athletic skills to someone who'd had centuries to perfect his game. Someone with perfectly toned muscles. Someone who probably looked amazing in a ball cap and jersey.

"Oh shit shit shit, what do I wear?" I cried aloud, pacing in my room. "I'm going to be a poorly-dressed non-athlete!"

I threw myself over-dramatically onto my bed, feeling intensely sorry for myself, and suddenly felt a pain in my ribcage. I rolled over and found a long, flat box on the comforter.

"What will it take to get vampires to stop breaking into my room?" I wondered aloud, sitting up and placing the box in my lap.

Inside the box I found a note in Alice's handwriting: _You'll need these tomorrow. And quit worrying, you'll be fine!_

Underneath was a ton of pink, poufy tissue paper, which I quickly trashed. Below that obnoxious display of femininity were a baseball cap, jersey, lightweight tank top, and jeans. Pinned to the jeans was another note reading: _Wear sneakers. _Any _sneakers._

"Crazy vampires," I grumbled good-naturedly. Secretly I loved that Alice and Edward looked after me – without them, who would make sure I dressed for the occasion?

There was a noise downstairs, from which I gathered that Charlie was home. The sound of a beer can being opened confirmed my suspicions.

I shoved the box of clothes under my bed and trotted downstairs to see my dad. He was already comfortably situated in his armchair watching a baseball game. Perfect.

"Hey Dad," I greeted, dropping onto the couch.

"Hey kid," he replied, eyes glued to the television.

"Good day at work?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Caught that drug dealer we've been trying to nab for a few months. He's going away for a long time." He chuckled as if remembering a fond memory. Cops had a weird sense of humor.

"Nice. Good job." I cleared my throat awkwardly. "So, who's playing?"

"Braves and Nationals."

"Ah." I nodded as if I knew what he was talking about. "Cool."

There was another moment of silence during which both of us stared at the screen, he with intense interest and I with utter perplexity. Then he looked over at me.

"Something on your mind, Bella?"

"Nah, not really. I'm supposed to play ball with the Cullens tomorrow, and I kind of have no idea how to play."

Charlie laughed. "You? Baseball?"

I rolled my eyes. "I know. No need to rub it in."

"You're going to give someone a concussion if they give you a bat. Probably yourself."

"Thanks," I said sarcastically.

"Well, I hope you have fun. It's good that you're getting out there and making friends. The Cullens have always been nice." He turned his attention back to the television, and I took it as my cue to go to bed.

My feeble attempt to get Charlie talking about baseball's many intricacies failed, but I should have known better. Charlie was never the perceptive type, so unless you just came out and said what it was you wanted, he'd never take the hint. Like nearly every guy, and many girls, on the planet. At least, that was what I'd gathered from my very limited experience on Earth.

Once upstairs, I powered up my computer and Googled baseball. The first couple of sites, MLB and Wikipedia, were informative but not nearly dumbed down enough. I ended up on the third site that was listed in my results and spent a good two hours playing the Miniclip version of the game. I lost every damn game.

Great. Tomorrow was looking _really _promising.

* * *

A/N: Well, I've got absolutely no excuse for my delay in updating. I've been sick on and off (in fact, I have the flu right now. Poo.), there have been some family emergencies, and I got an adorable puppy who has happily been taking up a great deal of my time. I feel back in the groove, though. Once I sat down and started writing again, it just felt great. Really relaxing, like it used to. So, my apologies if anything seems weird and again, I'm SUPER sorry for not updating.

My chapter-ly poem takes the form of a free-form tongue twister:

Carlisle can caress my curves constantly;

I can't quite quit my craving

For this cute, captivating quack

Who could kill me quicker than a cannonball.

Many thanks to those who continue to add me as a Favorite/Alert Author/Story. Your adds totally make me squeal. Literally. And that can be really awkward in a waiting room filled with sickies.

My thanks also go to my incredible reviewers, each of whose reviews I savor like a fresh-baked derby pie:

Kathy Hiester, acw1, Sinthya Van Dan, aerobee2, Cullens Darlin, anmarie, Malu Snape Rickman, Briyer Rose, yueyuuko, Merina Green, Tetiani (_holy vampires I'd taken Jackson too!_), brighteyes343, Blood Red Vampress, mzinke, , B-RizzleDizzle (_yum, potential wolf action…_), notashamedtobesoilyfan, Kookie-chan, aixa00, Avalonhighgirl, allmine, Nissa-Cullen, OddBall2008 (_haha, I'm nerdy too!),_ vikinglass25, attagrl, cutthecrepe (_love the penname_), bwkitty, shallwedance9, WannabeWolfe, xitwa74, Shiloh McDuff, Kristen, schus522 (_glad you've converted!_), -siarafaerie-101-miss, CasperBleu, Goddess of the Black Rose (_I'll definitely address your question next chapter_), TearyJewelEyes (_I'll absolutely check out your petition – thanks for the heads-up!_), rosedragonamber, Adipocere, and IsleofSkye.

THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH. I _love love love_ your reviews! You guys all have such nice, wonderful things to say!

In the next chapter: Bella spends some quality time with the Cullen family. And perhaps gets a concussion. Luckily she has Dr. SexyPants to tend to her… Also, we have some unwelcome visitors. Stay tuned!


	8. Play Ball

_**The Kindness of Semi-Strangers**_

By Freddie Stardust

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing – Stephenie Meyer is the genius behind the _Twilight_ series. I make no money from writing this story.

_Chapter Eight – Play Ball_

* * *

The morning of my doom had finally arrived.

After lying in bed for three hours thinking what an idiot I was for not calling Phil at a decent hour to soak up some firsthand knowledge of baseball, I dragged myself to the bathroom and took a quick shower. I pulled the box of baseball clothes out from under my bed and sighed as I pulled each article out.

"I must have a death wish," I muttered as I tugged on my work clothes. I stuffed the baseball clothes into a duffel and grabbed my purse to head to work.

"Morning Bella," Charlie called as I raced downstairs to the kitchen.

"Morning Dad. You working today?"

"Nope. Fishing day."

I grabbed a muffin and a banana before rushing out the door, yelling a goodbye to my dad. Hopping into my truck, I sped off to work, eager for something to take my mind off the upcoming game.

Work was a nightmare. I was so worried about that afternoon that I knocked over an elaborately stacked display of camping chairs while reaching for a can of bug spray, and then I dropped an entire tray of live bait that I was supposed to stock. Mike looked a bit nauseated as he handed me a mop to clean them up. I threw up all over the worms and, to add insult to injury, I had to clean up my own puke.

When my shift ended at 3:00, I shuffled to the bathroom and unpacked the baseball cap, lightweight tank top, jersey, and jeans. I pulled on the jeans and tank top, brushed my hair into a ponytail, shrugged on the jersey, and plopped the baseball cap on my head. Then I made the mistake of looking in the mirror.

"Oh God. This is going to make them think I'm actually athletic," I moaned, jerking the bill of the cap over my eyes. I looked good in baseball gear, but I really didn't want to give a false impression. They were going to treat me like I knew what I was doing, and then I would _definitely _die.

"Wow Bella, you actually look athletic," Mike marveled when I came out of the bathroom.

"I know. It's awful." I sank into one of the camping chairs I had knocked over earlier.

"What's up? You joining a team or something?" Mike asked casually, though I knew he was itching for some gossip.

"Nah." I wasn't going to give up anything about the Cullens. I didn't even know what kind of baseball we were playing – was there a Vampire Baseball League with special vampire rules or something?

"Okay," Mike said, disappointed. "Just running around in a cap and jersey. I see."

"Yup. Trying out a new look." I pushed myself out of the chair and gathered up the duffel bag and my purse. "See you later Mike."

"Sure, see ya," he responded, scratching his head. The boy was definitely one fry short of a Happy Meal.

I walked out to my car like a death row con walking to the electric chair. The distance from the door of the store to my truck seemed to keep growing, like one of those old scary movies where the hallway keeps stretching and stretching and the music gets more intense and creepy until suddenly…

"Hi."

I nearly jumped right out of my skin. "EDWARD!" I screeched, sliding pathetically down my truck door and onto the ground. "You're _going_ to kill me!"

He rolled his eyes unsympathetically as I clutched at my chest, trying to grip my heart through my shirt to slow it down.

"You should be used to it by now," he said, exasperated, reaching down to pull me gently to my feet. "But sorry anyway."

I glared at him. "Get bent."

Edward chuckled and smoothed the nonexistent wrinkles out of his shirt. He looked like he had been born to play baseball, what with his abnormally flattering baseball getup. I felt like a fish out of water. Hell, I felt like a fish on Jupiter.

"Shall I drive?"

I tossed Edward the keys and walked to the passenger door, which he had already zipped over to and opened for me. There was no way I could drive – I had already been jittery enough before Edward popped up and scared the pee-pee out of me.

The roads we took were pretty busy – lots of people were flocking to the movie theaters on this cloudy Saturday. It looked like it was going to storm, and I pointed this out to Edward, hoping it would make a difference in delaying my dreaded fate.

"We can only play baseball when it's storming," Edward said with a sly grin.

"But… but I just watched a game yesterday on TV, and when Nats Stadium got a sprinkle, they quit!" I protested in a voice that was an octave or two higher than the voice in which I usually spoke.

"You're grasping at straws, Bella. You're playing, whether you like it or not."

I huffed and puffed and settled back into my seat. Maybe I should just accept that I was going to do this, be optimistic, and try my best.

Ha. Who was I kidding? Bella Swan, being optimistic and not putting up a fight when I was faced with an unfamiliar situation? Please. I was _born _to struggle in the face of uncertainty and discomfort.

We drove for another fifteen minutes or so, the radio blasting some blues songs from the 1950s. I was enjoying the tunes so much that I didn't realize when the truck puttered to a stop.

"We're here," Edward announced, exiting the car in a flash and opening my door for me before I could hide in the backseat or make a break for the woods.

I gulped, biting my lower lip anxiously. This was it.

"Come on, Bella, it's a game, not a death sentence. You're being a drama queen." Edward steered me through a large clearing in the woods, where I could see the rest of the Cullens gathered in their baseball gear.

Alice was stretching luxuriously; Emmett was whacking the dirt off his cleats; and Jasper was flipping his baseball bat around, looking so confident it was as if he'd invented the damn sport. Rosalie was gazing at me with a perfectly arched eyebrow under her perfectly poised cap, with Esme speaking to her softly at her side.

Carlisle, naturally, looked like the best cut of man-meat in the butcher's shop.

"You're late," Rosalie called as we grew closer. I knew that was for my benefit – she could have whispered it a mile away and Edward would have heard, but why not take advantage of the opportunity to make me even more uncomfortable?

"Not," Edward countered. "We're actually twenty minutes early."

"I'm surprised you even made it, driving that old hunk," Emmett said with a smirk.

"Bite me," I teased, rolling my eyes.

"Maybe for dessert," he shot back.

"All right kids, let's huddle up," Esme called, smiling that smile that all mothers get when they're reminded of how much they love their children. What a woman.

To my enormous surprise, the game went incredibly smoothly – no disasters of epic proportions. We divided into teams, went to our positions (me behind the plate to serve as… referee? Umpire? Grand Poobah?), and played ball.

It was incredible to watch the vampires play. Each time the ball hit a bat, it was like a crack of lightning, which conveniently danced in the hills beyond the clearing. They threw themselves into each other to fight for the ball, which seemed more appropriate for rugby than baseball, but whatever, it was _their_ sport, not mine. Definitely not mine.

Alice was the first to notice when the visitors arrived.

"Stop!" came her crystalline voice. The vampires stood still as statues for a moment, listening or smelling or whatever they did, and then raced toward me. I tried not to yelp as seven deadly creatures came to a skidding halt in front of me, fangs out and bodies turned toward the edge of the woods at the far end of the clearing.

"What's happening?" I whispered to Edward. He clapped a heavy hand over my mouth, hard enough that I felt a tooth shift.

Two men and a woman with wild red hair came striding out of the woods that the Cullens stood facing. Noob to the vampire world though I was, it didn't take me long to discern that these, too, were vampires, and that their intentions weren't as friendly as joining the ball game.

"Greetings, friends," called one of the men in a slightly accented voice. His words were almost musical.

"This territory is claimed," Carlisle replied, speaking at a normal volume. Of course the other vampires could hear him.

"We pose no threat, friend. We come seeking refreshment before we pass through." By now, the threesome were standing in front of us. Damn, those bloodsuckers could move fast. I was so put off that I nearly forgot to breathe.

"My apologies, but we cannot permit hunting. We have a permanent settlement here and wish to maintain healthy relations and a good cover with the people of this town."

The woman with the red hair was staring at me, and I was surprised to find that her eyes were nearly the same color as her locks. Creepy.

"We must feed," she hissed.

"Victoria," the first vampire, who looked as if he were from the Caribbean, warned her.

"Isn't this human your dinner?" the second man asked with a twisted smirk. He looked like a douche, plain and simple.

"Touch her and die," Edward growled, crouching down in front of me and tensing his muscles for battle.

I took a moment, just a moment, to analyze the situation. It seemed as if we were about to have a little vampire war, thanks to me, a mere mortal, participating in what would have otherwise been a friendly baseball game amongst vampire siblings. _Way to go, Bella. Way to cause a vampire battle._

Jasper was angry and anxious to fight; I could only tell because his emotions were starting to rub off on me, and I foolishly thought for a split second that I could actually take on the redhead.

_Right. Go for it, you idiot. See how close you get before your head's lying in a bloody mess on the ground. Who do you think you are – Buffy?_

And that was my last thought before everything went dark.

* * *

When I finally managed to crack open an eyelid, everything I could see was covered in fuzzy white stars.

"Camping?" I mumbled stupidly.

There was a quiet laugh to my right. "You're awake."

I popped open another eyelid. There was an irritating, low ringing in my ears. "Answer the phone, I don't have voicemail."

When my eyes focused a bit more, I saw I was in the Cullen McMansion. I was on a couch, and Carlisle sat in a chair beside me. Though my vision was blurry, I could see that his clothes were stained red.

"That's your concussion, not a phone." He began massaging my head, and to my absolute, addle-brained horror, I involuntarily moaned a bit.

"What happened?" I croaked, hoping to stop the moaning.

Carlisle continued to feel my head, seemingly found what he was looking for, and began parting my hair to take a closer look. "The visiting vampires attacked us. You got knocked in the head with a rock that the redhead threw to distract us."

"Bitch," I slurred.

"They're dead. All three." Carlisle grinned at me. "We avenged your honor."

I tried to process that information, failed, and filed it away in my brain to ponder when I hadn't been smacked in the head. "What's wrong with my head?"

Carlisle pursed his lips, concentrating on his work, and then sat back to rummage for something in a bag at his feet. "Victoria managed to crack you open in nearly the same spot where you had stitches before. There's a little bit of blood, but nothing to…"

I didn't hear the rest of what he said before I smelled the blood, threw up, and passed out once more.

* * *

I blinked back into consciousness after what felt like an eternity. "Well, that was mortifying."

Carlisle laughed heartily. "You're incredibly sensitive to blood."

He had changed out of his bloodstained clothes and, judging from the slight throbbing in my head, had stitched up my wound. The ringing in my ears was gone, though, and there was an icepack on my head.

"How long have I been out?" I asked, struggling to sit up a bit.

Carlisle was next to me in a flash, helping me get upright on the couch. "An hour and a half. Edward called Charlie to let him know you were staying for dinner."

I made a note to thank Edward later. In fact, I made a note to thank _all_ of the Cullens later.

"I really appreciate you taking care of me," I said sheepishly. "I hate to always be the damsel in distress."

Carlisle shrugged. "I like to take care of you. You're beautiful when you sleep."

And just like that, I was in my own, personal movie – The Bella Chronicles: Return of the Blush.

"Where is everyone?" I asked, trying to deflect the embarrassment I felt.

"Feeding. The battle made everyone a bit… hungry."

"Aren't you hungry, too?"

Carlisle shook his head. "I've built up a great deal of self-control in my many years." He leaned in toward me, his beautiful face a mere inch from mine. "Which is why I've been able to resist ripping off your clothes and fucking you within an inch of your life."

I suddenly felt as if every joint in my body had turned to mush, and it seemed like my heart would explode if it beat any faster. It even hurt to breathe, I was so turned on.

"You're blushing," Carlisle growled in a low voice. "And not just in your face."

I wanted to say something, _anything_, that might come off as calm, collected, and sex-goddess-y, but all I could manage was a very high-pitched, strangled, "Eep." My whole body was throbbing.

In an incredible display of athleticism and flexibility, Carlisle crawled onto the couch on top of me, somehow managing not to touch me at all but lining his body up within inches of mine. I decided in that moment that I would take up yoga.

"But I'm not so sure I'll be able to resist anymore."

_This is it, kid! All your deepest, darkest fantasies are about to come to life! SHIT YEAH!_

"Carlisle?"

Before I could blink, Dr. Sexypants had removed himself from the couch and was on the other side of the room behind a desk. Moments later, there was a knock at the door.

"Come in, Emmett."

Emmett pushed the door open and came to stand beside me. His eyes were a beautiful golden honey color.

"You okay, champ?"

I managed a grin, willing my heart to quit the 5K it was running. "Never been better. Thanks for sticking up for me."

Emmett bumped my fist with his own, cracking all my knuckles. "No outsider vamp is gonna mess with my girl Bella." He turned to Carlisle. "I'll take Bella home if you want to go hunt, Pops."

Carlisle nodded at his son. "Thanks, Emmett." He walked back to the couch and handed me a packet of pills. "Take these if you have any pain in your head. I'll get those stitches out in a few days."

I nodded as gently as I could, taking the pills and then using Emmett's outstretched hand to pull myself up. Carlisle put his hand on the small of my back to help me up, or perhaps to cop one last feel. Either way, I was as happy as a pig in shit.

"Thanks, Carlisle."

"Any time."

Emmett helped me downstairs and into his Jeep, which he maneuvered as carefully as he could back to Charlie's house, talking my ear off about the battle that had occurred as I lay ungracefully sprawled on the ground nearby, unconscious. He told me that Edward hadn't left my side during the whole ordeal, which gave me an unusual warm-and-fuzzy feeling.

The burly vamp walked me up the front steps before hopping back in his Jeep, waving, and tearing off at warp speed. I braced myself, swallowing down memories of those heated moments with Carlisle in his study, and walked in.

"Hey Bells," Charlie called as I entered the family room, still covered in dirt and pressing an icepack to my forehead.

"Hi Dad," I said, gingerly lowering myself onto the couch.

"That bad?" he asked, giving me a quick look to evaluate the extent of my injuries.

"You have no idea."

Charlie chuckled. "I'm glad Dr. Cullen always manages to fix you up when you bust up your butt."

My breath caught as I thought of how much I'd love for Carlisle to put those cold hands all over my busted butt, and I launched into a coughing fit.

Charlie jumped up to get me a bottle of water, which I gratefully sipped as my attack subsided.

"Maybe you should get to bed," he suggested, and I agreed heartily. I climbed up the steps, a daunting task with a concussion, and washed up quickly before shuffling into my bedroom. Edward was already sprawled out on my bed, whose sheets he had been kind enough to pull back for me.

I shucked my jersey and shoes and climbed into bed, snuggling up against the vampire's icy skin.

"Thank you Edward," I whispered drowsily.

He pulled me gently into the curve of his body and held his hand on my injured scalp in place of the icepack. "That's what friends are for, silly," he said affectionately.

I giggled. "Ferris Bueller, you're my hero."

I could almost hear Edward's eyes rolling. "You're cute when you have a concussion. Get some sleep, Bella."

The words were barely out of his mouth before I fell into a coma-like rest.

* * *

The rest of July passed quickly, and then, before I knew it, August was also gone. I had earned quite a few bucks at the Newtons' store, and I had been checking the ads in the paper and on Craigslist to find a couple of junk bikes for me and Jake to fix up.

School had just started, and my birthday was mere days away. I was happily preparing for the Loss of My V-Card, though I'd be an enormous Liar-Liar-Pants-on-Fire if I said I wasn't scared as shit.

How did you have sex with a vampire?

Did they even do it the same way as humans?

Hell, how did humans do it?

I determined that being a virgin was definitely to my detriment in this scenario. Nothing wrong with being a virgin, of course, and you should definitely trust and like and ideally love the person you're going to, er, _do it_ with, but I somehow didn't see myself as the type of person who felt obligated to wait until marriage.

All right. I needed some knowledge about sex, stat. It was time to start watching some porn.

I glanced at my computer and then looked away quickly, blushing. Then I realized it was an inanimate object that couldn't judge me and my porn-watching.

I shuffled over to grab my laptop and carry it over to my bed, shutting and locking my door in the process. Charlie was at work, but I still didn't want to risk anyone walking in on me ogling some porno on my computer.

And on that note, I jumped up, locked the window, and shut my blinds and curtains.

Finally, it was time. I had a quick little debate with myself in my mind about the necessity of what I was about to do (_"You'll seem like an idiot if you try pulling some porn move that you've never tried before!" "But I'll seem more like an idiot if I don't know what parts go where!" "You're a moron." "_You're _a moron!"_), and the devil on my shoulder won the round.

"Here we go." I sat with my hands poised over the keyboard, but nothing happened. "Anddddd let's do it." Still nothing.

"Watch your porn dammit!" I hissed at myself. And then I burst into hysterical laughter, wheezing a bit until I calmed down.

"Okay. For real now." And I began my quest for Sexual Knowledge.

It took 3.2 seconds for Google to find what I was looking for, 5.6 minutes to calm myself down again, and 1.5 hours to learn that people are into some kinky shit.

While most of the things I saw were definitely not within my ability to perform, one thing I noticed was that everyone seemed to like talking dirty.

How hard could _that _be?

As it turned out, _very_ hard.

I sat on my bed for a minute, giggling maniacally as I tried to force some dirty talk out of my (mostly) squeaky clean mouth.

"Oh yeah baby," I began, my voice cracking a bit. I cleared my throat, bit my lip, and continued.

"Oh, I _love _how you feel inside m…" And that was as far as I got before I got another case of the giggles.

I slammed my laptop shut, rolling my eyes. I just had to hope that when the time came, I would know what to do while I was in the moment.

And that moment was coming very, very soon.

* * *

A/N: Once again, I suck at updating. Yup. Throw some rotten fruit and veggies at me, because I'm lame. I really am. I feel like I haven't slowed down in months. But I'm so glad I had the time to sit down and write this chapter, because it felt gooooood. And holy mackerel that Dr. Carlisle is a hottie! I think I need to take up yoga classes with Bella in case the PhD of Sexy comes knocking at _my_ door.

A note (obviously, since this is the author's note section. [facepalm] Duh.): I dealt with those pesky nomad vampires a lot faster than the amazing Ms. Meyer did. I knew I needed to deal with them, but I didn't want them eff-ing up my Bella/Carlisle lovefest. I claim artistic license. Or impatience. Whatever.

And now, an acrostic (and shameless) plea for reviews:

**L**et's take a moment to soak**  
U**p the sexiness that is**  
C**arlisle;**  
K**atie works on reviews, so**  
Y**ou guys would be amazing if you leave one!

**B**ut I also enjoy**  
E**very add to a favorites**  
L**ist, so keep those coming so that our**  
L**ovely young heroine can get a piece of the hot doc's**  
A**ss!

My sincerest thanks to you guys for putting up with my slow-to-update butt; I love you guys so much, and I'm going to try my best to get the next chapter out. I've written a bit of it, and I'm afraid I'll have to censor some of it, but I'll be happy to email an uncensored version to anyone who wants the whole thing – or maybe I'll post it on AFF. Maybe both!

My thanks to those of you who favorite/alert me or my story – you guys are freaking fabulous! Those emails make me giggle maniacally like Bella trying to talk dirty. And a big old thank you to those of you who review, namely:

aerobee82, xitwa74 (_You made me smile so big! Thanks!_), The-Major's-Sargent, Jasper'sBaltimoreBabe (_I_ love_ Jasper/Bella_), beecee91, WannabeWolfe (_I really work hard to keep it fresh – thanks for noticing!)_, MissDevil666, gigyluv1992, xxbabyxox, imortalglee, Babe Pryor, seza3175, Zoya Zalan, whitegurl2013, gottaloveva, Tyalieva (_Je suis d'accord avec vous! Merci pour vos gentils mots_), victoria79, slcottin, Misty H, and Babysis64.

You guys ROCK. I love you. Seriously. Let's all have babies together.

Coming up next: Bella loses it. In more than one way. But definitely in the way we've been awaiting for EIGHT DARN CHAPTERS. I love some good old-fashioned anticipation. Maybe too much… But I digress. We'll have a _lot_ of fun in chapter 9. It's more than likely to be not much use to the larger plot, but it's about time I threw in a chapter of pure fluff.


	9. Here Comes the Birthday Girl

_**The Kindness of Semi-Strangers**_

By Freddie Stardust

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing – Stephenie Meyer is the genius behind the _Twilight_ series. I make no money from writing this story.

_Chapter Nine – Here Comes the Birthday Girl_

* * *

"Happy birthday Bella!" Charlie greeted me cheerfully as I walked down the stairs on a cloudy Tuesday morning.

"Thanks Dad," I replied, tripping on the last step and barely catching myself on the banister.

"Your mom and I got you a birthday present," he said, thrusting a neatly wrapped package into my hands. I was touched that he had gone through the effort and told him so.

"It's nothing," he said, waving a hand nonchalantly.

I tore open the paper around the box, in which I found a camera and a scrapbook kit. "Dad, you shouldn't have…"

"It's not every day your only daughter turns 18," Charlie said, firmly cutting off any further modest remarks on my part.

"Thanks," I said, gingerly touching the camera, which appeared to be a really nice, far too expensive Nikon. Generally I tried not to get near expensive things, because the odds were that I would break it within seconds.

Charlie surprised me with a hug, and then he cleared his throat and headed off to work.

If only he knew his little girl was about to be scandalized by a vampire, he might not be so sentimental.

It was exceedingly difficult to sit through school that day. Each time Edward caught my eye, he gave me this irritatingly knowing look. So did Emmett, for that matter. It seemed like _everyone_ knew something I didn't know.

Oh God. I wondered if Alice had, well, _seen_ what was happening that night between me and Carlisle.

I considered waving a papercut under Jasper's nose to end my misery as quickly as possible, but decided that wouldn't be fair to him or the rest of the Cullens, snoopy bastards though they were. Their gifts were proving to be a real pain in the ass.

And speaking of gifts, the entire Cullen clan showed up to lunch with birthday presents. Alice even brought a cupcake with a candle in it, which earned her a stern look from the cafeteria monitor.

"Happy birthday Bella!" Alice squealed as she placed the cupcake in front of me. I blew it out before the plate had even touched the table.

"You guys _really_ didn't have to get me anything," I insisted.

"That's what I said," Rosalie muttered under her breath.

Alice shot her sister a quick glare, the intensity of which was undermined by her adorable, pixie-like looks. "Never mind that. Open them!"

Emmett and Jasper (and Rosalie, begrudgingly) got me a new radio for my car, which the bear of a vampire had installed on his second-period break. I started to protest, but then remembered my eighth-grade etiquette teacher's directives to be gracious, and thanked each of them sincerely.

Edward, Alice, and Esme had given me tickets to Florida to see my mom and Phil. Again, I found myself touched by everyone's generosity.

"You guys are amazing," I said, trying my damndest not to get mushy. Mushy just didn't suit me.

"Happy birthday darling," Edward said as the bell rang, taking my hand to help me up. He knew me well enough to assist my everyday mobility as much as possible, or else I'd probably break something or someone.

"Hey Bella!" Alice called after me. I held back as the rest of the Cullens filtered into the hallways with the humans.

"What's up?"

The tiny vampire was obviously making a colossal effort to keep from grinning like the cat that got the canary.

"Carlisle said he has something for you, too. He's working until eight tonight, but if you drop by around eight-thirty, he'd love to see you." And then she grinned.

I cleared my throat to push my heart back down to its rightful place. "Really? That's awful nice of him."

Alice raised an eyebrow.

"I mean, that's cool. Thanks."

_Awful nice? What _century _are you from, Swan?_

* * *

I had paced across my room so many times that I was sure I'd end up in the half-bath below before long.

One part of me was doing a stupid little dance to the tune of, "I'm gonna lose my V-card!" The other part of me was shaking nervously in the corner, making fun of the part of me that was dancing (rather poorly, at that – I've never really had the rhythm for dancing. _Standing_ is a daily challenge for me).

"I'm having sex tonight," I whispered nervously.

_Man up, Swan! _said the dancing Bella.

"I'm having sex tonight!" I proclaimed confidently.

_You moron! You have _no_ idea what you're doing!_

"Could you two just _agree_ for once?" I snapped at my two halves.

After a quick break to evaluate my sanity (intact, but just barely), I resumed my agonizing. What should I wear? Did I need to bring anything? Should I design a V-card on my computer to print and hand to Carlisle?

_Yeah, that would be really mature_.

It was getting close to eight o'clock, and I'd need to leave pretty soon. I'd already left Charlie a note saying that I was going to celebrate at a sleepover with Alice, which catered to his need to make sure I wasn't a total social reject.

After a few more minutes of listening to my internal Battle of the Bellas, I switched out my purse for a larger tote bag so that I could fit a change of underwear and shirt as well as a hairbrush. After another embarrassing minute thinking about all the porn I watched, I tucked in a travel package of wet wipes.

_Now, what does one wear to one's de-virginizing?_

Much to my chagrin, I found myself thinking of Alice's fashion advice: "You can never go wrong with a pair of dark-wash skinny jeans and high heels."

"But what do I wear on top?" I yelped in a panic. "She didn't cover the _top_!"

After some unnecessary hyperventilation over which shirt I should wear, I was dressed. Black lacy hip huggers with white polka dots, a black silk bra, dark blue skinny jeans, high heels, and a black sleeveless tunic.

I looked like the Mistress of Darkness. Fitting for a vampire, right?

At least the heels had a pop of color – yellow, black, and white swirls. Carlos Santana was a master of women's footwear.

"And the makeup," I sighed. I was a minimalist about makeup – usually I just slapped on some tinted lip balm in Dr. Pepper flavor, and if I had a zit, I smothered it with concealer. But tonight seemed to warrant a bit more.

I put on foundation, powder, black eyeliner, mascara, blush, and a light lip gloss. Still minimal, but definitely more Fancy Bella, more Ready-to-Lose-Her-Innocence Bella.

After a bit more commonsensical thinking, I pulled off my heels and stuffed them in the tote bag, slipping on my favorite pair of faux snakeskin ballet flats. I'd put the heels on after I'd made my way downstairs and driven over. Attempting such a feat in heels would ensure that I wouldn't be getting laid tonight.

I giggled at the thought of getting laid, right before the urge to vomit nearly knocked me on my butt.

Knowing that Carlisle wanted to do the horizontal tango with me had been delicious and flattering, and his countdown to my legality had driven me insane, in a good way. But I began to wonder if I'd have been better off _not_ knowing when I'd be doing the deed for the first time.

The walk from the front door to my trusty old truck seemed to take a lifetime as my stomach churned and my mind raced. I literally shook myself, nearly falling over in the process.

Shouldn't the fact that someone as insanely hot as Carlisle wanted to fuck me make me feel kind of, I don't know, _empowered_? Obviously he found me attractive, and he was willing to wait for me to turn 18. Considering how long he'd been alive, I should probably give myself a little credit for turning the vampire's beautiful head.

Or maybe it was all thanks to the allure of my blood, which was incredibly strong, if Edward were to be trusted.

I decided to be optimistic and just consider myself hot.

Though my hands trembled a bit on the steering wheel, I made it to the Cullen McMansion (I mean, house) a few minutes before the appointed time. I looked in the mirror to do a quick makeup and teeth check as I swapped my flats for the daunting heels.

"Showtime," I said dramatically, making an obnoxious finger-gun gesture in the mirror at myself. I was getting nervous, and I when I get nervous, I tend to embarrass myself – i.e., Finger-Guns.

I walked carefully to the front door with my purse and my façade of calm. Should I knock? Ring the doorbell?

I rang, hoping I shouldn't have knocked instead. Knocking is kind of sexier, I guess. It says, _Oh hi there, I'm here and I'm ready to be ravaged._ Ringing a doorbell says, _Ta da! _while waving jazz hands.

Oh shit. I should've knocked.

I was ready to hightail it back to my truck over the doorbell faux pas when the door swung open. _Gulp_.

"Hi Bella," Carlisle said with a friendly smile. "Happy birthday!"

My eye twitched. "Hi, Doctor Carlisle."

_Oh my God. I just called him Doctor Carlisle._

Carlisle laughed and motioned me in, placing his hand on the small of my back to usher me through. "You can drop the doctor part. I'm off duty."

"Sure."

Since I wasn't having much success in the speaking department, I decided to do as little of it as possible.

Carlisle led me to the living room, and I couldn't help but watch the way his ass moved through his khaki slacks. He had paired the Sexy Pants (ha! Dr. SexyPants) with a deep blue button-up shirt and shiny black shoes that probably cost more than my entire outfit.

"You look fantastic," he said as he handed me a glass of wine. "Have a seat."

Ah. I was standing in front of a couch. I had been so busy staring at his ass that I hadn't realized when we'd reached our destination.

I sat down on the couch as gracefully as I could, glad that it was white wine in the glass. Less chance of irreparably screwing up the upholstery.

To my surprise (and slight aggravation), Carlisle sat down in a chair to my left. Now that I was here, the fire that had been suppressed by my nerves was flaring up again, and I wanted him within touching distance.

There was a moment of silence during which I just stared at Carlisle, and he gazed at me. It started to make me nervous, so naturally I opened my idiot mouth.

"So, how was work?"

Thank God he laughed instead of kicking me out for being a moron.

"Work was good. Minimal blood today." Carlisle took a sip of wine, and I realized I hadn't touched mine. It was actually quite good.

"This wine is great," I told him, savoring the fruity, light taste.

"It's my favorite," he said, swirling it like a pro. "Riesling is easy to drink."

I nodded as if I knew what he was talking about and crossed my right leg over my left. "I really appreciate you inviting me over. And for keeping it low-key."

Carlisle laughed. "Alice went through with the cupcake and presents, didn't she?"

"Yup." I shook my head, smiling fondly at the thought of the little vampire. "She's great, though. I'm just not used to people making a big deal over birthdays."

"Birthdays don't mean much to vampires," Carlisle explained. "So Alice loves being able to celebrate a human birthday, when it still means something. She doesn't get to do that very often."

I hadn't thought about that, but I made a note to quit resisting so hard when Alice wanted to make a fuss over me. If it made her happy, it made me happy.

After my initial lack of verbal eloquence, conversation came easily with Carlisle. He had a fantastic sense of humor and was so full of knowledge about anything and everything; if not for his humbleness, I'd feel like a dumbass sitting with him.

Soon the wine was gone, and I set the empty glass on the table next to me. Carlisle did the same.

And in the blink of an eye, he was kneeling on the floor in front of me. My heart literally skipped a beat.

"It's a good thing I've had centuries of self-discipline," Carlisle murmured, his lips almost fluttering against mine, "Because I've never wanted anything more."

And then he kissed me.

His cool lips caressed mine hungrily, and I felt a bit faint – my chest felt wheezy, and I felt a rush of pleasure all through my body. I was distinctly happy.

In a real display of derring-do, I brushed my tongue against Carlisle's lips, and his own darted out to meet mine. I tried to be aware that one false move against his sharp teeth would end my life, but I was getting lost in this kiss.

I pulled Carlisle's shoulders to bring him closer to me, and he responded by slipping between my legs and burying his hands in my hair. I felt tingles running through my body as the friction factor increased.

Just when I was getting into the rhythm of the kiss, Carlisle switched things up. He pulled me with him as he stood, and I wrapped my legs around his hips desperately to keep from falling off. I could feel something incredibly hard and a bit warmer than Carlisle's normal temperature pressing between my legs, and I couldn't help but grind into it.

Carlisle growled into my lips and dug his hands into my ass. Before I even registered that he had moved, we were in a bedroom. His bedroom.

The vampire threw me onto the bed, which was huge and covered in deep green sheets. He was back on top of me, minus a shirt, in seconds. I took a breathing break while I ran my hands over his smooth, muscular chest, which was quaking with restraint.

"You're beautiful," I whispered, perhaps feeling a bit dazzled.

Carlisle held himself up on an elbow while his other hand stroked my cheek. "I've got nothing on you, Bella."

There was a mad rush to kick off shoes and clothes while our mouths stayed connected, and after one last awkward wiggle to shuck my jeans, I was left in nothing but my bra and underwear. This was it. Point of no return.

It occurred to me that no one had seen me naked except for my mom and my ob-gyn, but I had very little time to fret before Carlisle had expertly reached around to unhook my bra. His head dropped to plant feather-light kisses all over my breasts, flicking each nipple to attention with his cool tongue. I moaned and arched my back up into his touch, all thoughts of inexperience temporarily dying.

Carlisle's head moved lower and lower until he was face-to-face with my polka dot panties. He growled again, and the sound made me feel heat right around where Carlisle's nose was.

"I love these," he murmured. "But they have to go." He peeled them off at an agonizingly slow rate, finally tossing them over his shoulder to join the rest of the clothes we had doffed.

He nuzzled my most private, untouched-by-man parts with his nose, and I was distracted by the thought that I was glad I had shaved and trimmed everything down there the other day. I was of the belief that every garden needed keeping; Edward had once said that as long as you didn't need a machete to get through the jungle, it didn't matter much.

I was thrown back to reality with the sensation of something slick and soft against the aforementioned parts, and I nearly bucked my hips off the bed. Carlisle held my hips firmly as he continued his incredible assault on my wet folds. Every lick was heaven-sent, waves of thick pleasure shooting from my thighs through my entire body.

Soon I knew I was getting close to orgasming, _hard_ – I couldn't keep my thighs from trembling, and there was a knot of pleasure building up where Carlisle was stroking. And then it happened – I cried out, my entire body going stiff as I came harder than I could have imagined. I grabbed Carlisle's hair, begging him silently not to stop as the feel-good waves rolled through me.

I barely had time to remember who I was before Carlisle was kissing me with abandon, and I could taste myself on his tongue. It probably should have weirded me out, but I only found myself even more turned on.

Carlisle pushed my legs apart, his body pressed against mine. He kissed my neck as he reached between us to position himself at my entrance, and then he pushed in.

There wasn't any pain, but I felt suddenly full – I hadn't gotten a good look, but it seemed that Carlisle was on the well-endowed side. My whole body shuddered as my brain finally understood the fact that I was officially no longer a virgin.

And then he started to move, slowly at first, and then at an almost superhuman speed. Each thrust built up that same intense, almost unbearable pleasure between my thighs. Carlisle groaned as he moved, and he buried his face in my neck, kissing, licking, almost biting…

He flipped me before I even knew what was happening. The different angle was a welcome change, and I pushed back into the vampire's pounding hips.

"Oh God, I'm…" And that was all I could manage to say before I was crying out again, and then I was speechless as the bliss radiated through me. A few hard thrusts later, I guessed Carlisle had come, too, because he went completely stiff and moaned softly.

I collapsed on the bed, unable to support my own weight anymore. I could feel something running down the inside of my thigh, but I ignored it, too tired and too satisfied to care. I felt Carlisle lower himself beside me.

Lying there with the beautiful, naked, god of a vampire, by whom I had just been thoroughly and oh-so-satisfyingly fucked, I thought back on the question I had asked myself earlier that night – would I have been better off not knowing?

I carefully considered it for a moment, smiled, and decided it had been better to know. Otherwise I wouldn't have known to wear the sexy panties, and I probably would've been caught off guard in my normal, totally unsexy panties. But for as long as Carlisle kept them on, it seems like it wouldn't have mattered anyway.

"What's so funny?" Carlisle asked, propping up on an elbow to watch the emotions playing on my face.

I smiled and shook my head. "Nothing. Just a little blissed-out."

I had thought that I'd be embarrassed after sex and that I would hightail it out of there, but I found that I was perfectly content to lay there with the beautiful man/doctor/vampire who had just had the honor of being my first taste of the flesh, no pun intended.

"Can I tell you something?"

I was intrigued. "Sure."

Carlisle grinned at me. "That night in Port Angeles, while we were at the restaurant, I almost couldn't keep my hands off of you."

"Really?" I raised an eyebrow. Dr. SexyPants had wanted me for that long?

Carlisle nodded. "You were completely turning me on. But you were traumatized, so I tried my best to keep you from seeing," he nodded toward his groin, "the evidence."

I flushed an unflattering shade of fuchsia. "Ah." When he had motioned toward his, er, _member_, I had finally caught a glimpse of what had just been inside me. Damn. That thing had _fit _inside me? "So that's why you were… twitchy."

The vampire laughed. "You could put it that way." He brushed a lock of hair behind my ear. "Plus, you weren't of age yet. And since we're trying to live among humans peacefully and in accordance with the laws of men, I figured I should try to avoid any accusations of statutory rape."

"So my age doesn't bother you?" It was a question I had been asking myself for a while. Why would Carlisle, a centuries-old, breathtakingly beautiful vampire, want me, a gawky eighteen-year-old who couldn't take two breaths without injuring someone or something?

Carlisle regarded me thoughtfully. "When you've lived as long as I have, age doesn't matter nearly as much as character. When something, or someone, as good and intriguing as you comes along, you seize it – or her."

"Oh." I felt like that was a thinly veiled compliment of my character, but I just wasn't quite sure how to respond.

"I mean, that's not to say I'm attracted to children," Carlisle added quickly, wrongly assuming that my silence was accusatory. "That's disgusting, I would never…"

"Got it," I said, smiling reassuringly. "I didn't take you for some creepy molester. I wouldn't be here if I did."

We lay there in silence for a bit, just our toes touching. I'm sure Carlisle was having all sorts of dignified, wise thoughts. Meanwhile, all I could think was, _I just banged a hottie! WOOHOO! Virginity is GONE!_

"I have something for you," Carlisle said, breaking into the comfortable silence.

"You just gave me _plenty_," I said before I could stop myself.

Carlisle smirked. "Well, yes, but…"

He stood and zipped out of and back into the room in a matter of seconds. He was holding a small, velvet box. I could swear my heart stopped for a second.

"Happy birthday Bella," he said softly, pressing the box into my suddenly clammy hand.

I opened the box with shaking hands and found a pair of dangly diamond earrings. They looked like miniature chandeliers, with three strings of diamonds hanging from each base.

"I…"

"Don't protest."

"But this is so…"

"Bella," Carlisle interrupted, placing a cool hand on my shoulder, "you've already given me an incredible gift tonight."

"My V-card?"

Carlisle shook his head. "Your trust."

Once again, I didn't know what to say, so I just kissed him.

After breaking away from my lips, Carlisle took the earrings out of the box and tenderly hooked them in my ears.

"They're almost as beautiful as you," he whispered.

Damn. This man was full of romance. I was going to have to step up my game, or else my speechlessness was going to start annoying the vampire.

"So, can I take you out this weekend?"

I was stunned by his abrupt question. "You want to, what, _date_ me?"

Carlisle looked affronted. "You thought I just wanted to – what's the expression – get in, get off, get out?"

"No!" I said quickly. "It's just… No one really wants to date me, I guess."

"Bella, _everyone _wants to date you. Edward said so."

"That's news to me." I considered it for a second. The sexiest man in Forks, perhaps in the world, wanted to date me. And he's brilliant, and kind, and funny, and…

"Sure, you can take me out. I already know you're great in the sack."

Carlisle laughed heartily. "You're something else, Bella Swan."

I shrugged, succumbing to another breathtaking kiss. I could only hope he continued to find something special in me before he figured out I was just another girl.

* * *

A/N: Does anyone else ever have a debate with yourself out loud that really should stay in your mind? I just had, literally, a two-minute debate with myself over whether "slipperier" was a word, or if it should be "more slippery." And then I typed it in a Word document and settled that nasty matter, though now I'm a bit concerned that I spent that much time, out loud, dwelling on such an issue. That's what happens when you have no social plans on a Friday night.

All right, I have a confession to make: I get really, really silly when I write sex scenes. I'm talking all-out giggle fits, blushing, inappropriate outbursts, you name it. Maybe I'm just excited and/or embarrassed about seeing naked people in my mind, and I revert to a 12-year-old boy's state of maturity. All the same, I hope it lived up to your expectations! I definitely had a little too much fun writing it.

And now, I beg for reviews in traditional quatrains:

Bella once a virgin was  
Now she has been defiled  
The sexy vamp who did the deed  
Goes by the name Carlisle

If you want more of their story  
Please, good folks, review  
For this poor author makes no cash  
But works for praise from you

My thanks to all who favorited/alerted this story or me. Rock on, my friends! And my special thanks to the reviewers who fuel the story, named below:

Kathy Hiester, aggy73, Kittyinaz, SmolderingTopaz, aerobee82, CCisGod, xxbabyxox, mydirt09 (_hahaha I agree! And you might be right about Jake…_), victoria79, Sokoshi, seza3175, Babe Pryor (_"dead lay" totally cracked me up_), BellasInitials, Cailley Rachelle, hnwhitlock2000, lil, chacha73, spikemyangel, kinky shit, whitegurl2013, LadyGrelka, AbbeNormal (_you made me cry! In a good way, though! Thank you so much for your touching words; you're too kind!_), ronanissexy, and -Cullen.

Your reviews make me laugh, make me cry, make me think. Thank you so, so, SO much!

Coming up next time: Bella's got the need for speed, Jake and his fabulous muscles are getting a little too cozy, and we'll be going on our date with Dr. SexyPants.


	10. Sir Edward the Tool

_**The Kindness of Semi-Strangers**_

By Freddie Stardust

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing – Stephenie Meyer is the genius behind the _Twilight_ series. I make no money from writing this story.

_Chapter Ten – Sir Edward the Tool_

* * *

"And now move slowly into the downward facing dog position, breathing deeply…"

I attempted to stick my butt in the air like the woman in the DVD, but my feet slipped out from under me and I faceplanted on the floor.

"Son of a bitch," I grumbled, peeling myself off the thin carpet and wrinkling my nose to make sure it wasn't broken.

My vow to take up yoga to become more flexible for Carlisle was, so far, a bust. I was a little bit sore from last night's birthday romp in the sack, and I was just too damned clumsy for such a graceful sport.

I muttered indignantly as I violently jabbed at the "Eject" button and put Yoga for Dummies back in its case. "Unnaturally flexible… Little Miss Perfect and her stupid spandex… No normal person should be so stretchy…"

"Trouble, Bella?"

"Alice!" I squeaked, holding a hand to my heart. "How in the world…"

"Your bedroom window. Edward said you keep it unlocked." Alice smirked. "Of course, I already knew it would be."

I rolled my eyes and tossed the DVD unceremoniously onto the TV stand. "Of course you did."

Alice waggled her eyebrows at me. "So… How was last night?"

I blushed profusely and started mumbling nonsensical phrases, and Alice giggled in delight.

"I knew it would be great."

"Alice!" I shrieked.

"I really tried not to look at any of the details!" Alice insisted with a devilish grin. "Not on purpose."

"You're lucky Charlie's not home," I warned her. "I have no desire to tell him his little girl is all grown up and…"

"Getting down with a vampire?"

A fresh blush attacked my cheeks. "Something like that."

Alice followed me to the kitchen as I went in search of some hydration after my trying afternoon of yoga.

"So, you have any questions? Anything you want to talk about?" Alice asked, suddenly becoming serious. "I know the first time can really confuse your emotions."

I shrugged. "I don't know. I mean, it was great, and I don't have any regrets, but I don't know where to go from here. Carlisle asked me out this weekend."

"That sounds like a good place to start," Alice said thoughtfully. "You seem pretty calm and collected. I was worried you'd be…"

"I thought so too," I admitted. "I figured I'd get clingy on Carlisle or I'd be a nervous wreck, but I'm actually okay. Living my life as usual, I guess; just with the added bonus of knowing how awesome sex is."

We giggled together for a moment, and I realized how comfortable I'd become with Alice. It was like she was my cool big sister now.

"Let's go shopping," I said spontaneously.

Alice's eyes lit up. "Really?"

I nodded. "Yeah. You can help me pick out something cute for my date this weekend."

Alice gave a whoop and looked like she wanted to fist-pump. "Super! And on the way, you can tell me why you want to go and build a motorcycle." She gave me a protective look.

I sighed as I marched upstairs to change out of my yoga pants. I was fond of that little vampire, but her prophetic talent was going to take some getting used to.

* * *

In the end, Alice had grudgingly accepted that I was going to build a bike with Jake, and she had pointed me in the direction of a couple junker bikes for sale on the cheap.

On Thursday, I drove my truck up to the reservation with the bikes safely loaded in the back, and I couldn't help but grin at the look of youthful exuberance on Jake's face when he saw them.

"They're perfect!" he exclaimed, pulling them out of the truck bed with unnatural ease.

I raised an eyebrow. "Perfect?" I asked, eyeing the scratches, dents, missing parts, and general disarray of the two bike skeletons.

"They'll be great," Jake insisted, rolling them toward the garage. "Come on, let's get to work."

I pulled out my phone to dial the pizza parlor, and within a half hour, we were munching away on a meat lovers pizza and making a list of all the parts and tools Jake would need.

"I've gotta tell you, Bells, you're probably the coolest girl I've ever met," Jake told me as he scribbled down the name of an obscure motorcycle part.

I smiled self-consciously and shook my head. "Come on…"

Jake looked up from his notepad. "I mean it. You like bikes, you're smart, you eat like a normal human being, and you're gorgeous." His eyes dropped and the faintest tinge of pink appeared on his tanned cheeks.

I bit my lip. "Um, thanks Jake."

He shrugged, and then hastily jumped up to check his tool bench for a certain screwdriver.

I sat back and rested my head on my hands. Jake was the most honest person I'd met – if he thought all of those great things about me, then maybe it was time to stop questioning myself and start feeling a bit more self-confident. I made good grades, I dressed pretty well thanks to Alice, I knew I wasn't a total lost cause in the looks department… And I was fucking a vampire.

Hell, I must be special.

I smiled and gave a triumphant little sigh. It was one of those rare moments when I felt like I was really growing up. I knew I'd be walking around with a bit more self-assurance from then on.

* * *

By Friday, I was feeling a little less calm and collected about my date with Carlisle on Saturday night. Would things be weird now that we had seen each other naked? How on Earth would I be able to act normally around him when I had seen what was underneath those perfectly pressed trousers and experienced what his lips could do when they weren't making clever conversation?

I blushed at the memory and giggled. If I ever wanted to experience those lips again, I'd have to see him again, which meant getting over this mental roadblock. I was eighteen now and supposedly an adult. Adults have sex. Tons of people have sex and still hang out with clothes on. So could I.

Charlie was home for dinner, so I whipped us up a quick chicken and stuffing casserole.

"So," Charlie said between mouthfuls, "Got any big plans this weekend?"

I was completely unprepared for the question, so I took my time chewing the next mouthful to contemplate my answer. I hadn't thought about telling Charlie about my budding relationship with the Cullen patriarch.

Was it too soon to tell him? Should I wait a few dates? Would he react terribly to the age difference? If only he knew Carlisle's real age…

"Nothing big," I finally answered. "Probably going to hang out with Edward and Alice."

Charlie grunted noncommittally.

Well, that hadn't been too hard. And it wasn't a complete lie. Surely I would see the two Cullens at some point in the weekend. Hopefully, though, I'd be sandwiched between Carlisle and the mattress for most of it.

I suddenly felt very hungry for a sandwich.

"I'll be fishing with Harry this weekend," Charlie told me, snapping me out of my illicit reverie. I blushed when I realized I'd been daydreaming about Carlisle's naughty bits with my dad sitting right next to me.

"Sounds like fun," I said quickly, jumping up and clearing our plates to hide my reddened cheeks. "Camping out again?"

"Yep," Charlie replied, patting his full belly. "We found a great spot near the stream last month, so we're going back tomorrow. Great dinner, Bells."

"Thanks. . Lots of great recipes."

After I washed up the dishes, Charlie sat down to watch a ball game, and I headed upstairs to relax a bit and maybe try yoga again. I closed the door and shuffled over to my dresser, casting a glance over my shoulder toward the window.

"Hi Edward."

Edward was standing in the shadows by my curtains, trying his best to look dark, broody, and mysterious, and clearly he had hoped to scare the crap out of me, as per usual. He pouted and flopped down on my bed.

"Good evening, dear."

I pulled my yoga pants and a tank top out of a drawer and turned to face Edward. "You need to un-pop that collar before I slap you."

Edward smirked, but he obliged, smoothing the collar of his polo shirt underneath his jacket. "It's in style."

"It's douchey. Don't do it again."

He and I both knew that the most damage I could inflict was perhaps a chipped pinky nail, but he was kind enough to heed my warning. Or perhaps he just didn't want to hear me bitching about him looking like a tool again. Either way, I was grateful that he repaired the eyesore.

"Where have you been the last couple of days?" I asked, motioning for him to look away while I changed.

Edward suddenly became very interested in studying the "Shih Tzu Puppies" calendar that hung on the wall by my window. "We decided to head over to Montana. It's been a while since we hunted there."

It had been sunny since Wednesday morning, so I had been without my snarky biology lab partner and had instead been paired with Mike Newton. He was a good kid, but I interacted with him enough at work. I was on Mike Overload, and I'd probably been a bit short-tempered with him as a result. I made a mental note to try not to snap at him next week.

Once I had pulled on my yoga clothes and unfurled my little blue yoga mat, I attempted a basic tree pose, much to Edward's amusement.

"Why the sudden interest in yoga?" he asked, smirking as I lost my balance repeatedly.

I glared at him. "A personal resolution to be more active."

He raised a perfect eyebrow. "Or more flexible?"

I blushed and ignored him, focusing on my breathing and balancing my chi or chakra or whatever the hell I was supposed to be doing.

"Everyone is supposed to fit physical fitness into their daily routine," I informed him matter-of-factly. "Thirty minutes a day, five days a week."

"Could've gone to the gym and run on a treadmill like everyone else," Edward suggested.

"I'm not like everyone else," I retorted, wobbling on my right foot.

"And I love that about you."

"Besides, I didn't feel like working out with the juiced-up jocks at the school gym. And it's a small enough town – I don't want to sweat on the guy that rings up my groceries."

There was only one public gym in Forks, and _everyone _was a member. Everyone except the Cullens and myself.

Edward grinned. "Yoga is actually quite enjoyable once you've learned basic motor skills."

"Bite me."

The vampire flashed me his shiny teeth before hopping gracefully off the bed to stand next to me, all in one graceful motion.

"I've got a book about the real ideas behind yoga. It's very old, so it's a lot more helpful and true to the art than Yoga for Dummies." He looked pointedly at me. "If you're going to be doing yoga, I insist that you learn the theory behind it. I won't let you be one of those trend-followers who only do it because it's the thing to do."

He fluidly stretched into the tree pose, and then did a bunch of other poses the lady on the DVD hadn't yet covered.

"It can be incredibly relaxing and centering."

I considered it. If a century-old vampire found it relaxing, then perhaps I ought to take it a bit more seriously. "All right. I'll take a look at that book."

This meditation stuff might actually be helpful – I was a basket of nerves in anticipation of the impending date with Carlisle.

Edward patted me on the back reassuringly. "Don't worry, Bella. He's not just trying to get in your pants. He actually really enjoys your company."

I rolled my eyes. "That might actually be more intimidating than him just trying to get in my pants."

For the next hour, Edward did his best to get my mind off my nerves by showing me some yoga techniques. But after he had vanished through the window and I was left alone in bed, I couldn't help but worry about the date.

I'd never really dated a guy before. Sure, I'd had crushes on guys, but I'd never acted on any of them, and clearly none had acted on their crushes on me, if anyone had _had _a crush on me. This was new territory, and I had to admit that it was scary.

I suddenly wished Alice would pop up again. I could have really used some girl talk.

* * *

Work on Saturday morning kept my mind off of the date that evening, but as soon as I walked out of the store and hopped into my truck, I was, once again, a complete train wreck.

Charlie was away fishing with Harry by the time I got home, so I allowed myself a little squeal to release some of my pent up frustration. I hopped up and down and wiggled my arms like spaghetti noodles. And then I squealed again.

"So…yeah." I giggled, not caring that talking to myself was probably not a good sign. I flopped down on the couch and flipped on the television to relax for a minute. I had been on my feet all day, stacking displays and taking inventory in the warehouse, so it felt amazing to sit and do absolutely nothing.

I indulged in a Disney movie (_Oh Aladdin, why couldn't you just tell her the _truth _from the beginning?_) before traipsing upstairs to get ready for my date. Carlisle had said he would pick me up at seven, so I figured an hour and a half was plenty of time to get ready.

Wrong again, Bella.

At ten till seven, I was running around the second floor with a hot curling iron in one hand and a toothbrush in the other. I swore loudly as I tripped over a shoe and burned my wrist with the iron, spraying foamy toothpaste everywhere in the meantime.

"Shun of a bootch!" I yelled through the toothpaste, hopping up and down and pressing my wrist firmly against my red satin top to cool the skin. An angry burn popped up, mocking me and my attempt to look pretty. I glared at it, and then dashed back to the bathroom to spit out the toothpaste, barely avoiding that same shoe I had just tripped over.

By some small miracle, my hair and makeup were finished by the time the doorbell rang exactly at seven o'clock. I smoothed down the top over my black miniskirt, checked to make sure my black stilettos were strapped firmly onto my feet, rechecked the diamond earrings Carlisle had given me to make sure the backs were on securely, and grabbed my black leather jacket and white clutch.

I clung desperately to the handrail with my one free hand as I stepped gingerly down the stairs. I gave a triumphant "Haha!" as I conquered the stairs without a single mishap, and then I realized that Carlisle had probably heard my nerdy little outburst with his superhuman hearing.

If Carlisle had heard me, he tactfully chose not to acknowledge it when I opened the door. He looked, as usual, ravishing, clad in a pair of black slacks, deep green shirt, shiny black shoes, and a leather jacket that (_thank God_) matched mine. Difference was, my leather jacket wasn't even real leather, and I'd gotten it on sale. His was definitely real leather, had probably been made in Italy by some master artisan, and probably cost more than my truck.

He smiled, and I couldn't help but blush.

_I've seen you naked. You've seen me naked. We were naked together. NAKED._

"Good evening, Bella."

I managed a shaky smile. "Hi Carlisle."

His eyes skimmed over my frame, and I couldn't suppress a breathless shudder.

"You look incredible tonight."

I bit my lip as I turned to shut and lock the door behind me. "Thanks," I managed to say. "So do you. But you always do."

Carlisle grinned and placed a hand on the small of my back to steer me toward his Mercedes. That small touch was enough to send shivers all up and down my spine.

I folded myself as gracefully as I could into the car and breathed deeply as Carlisle walked around to the driver's side. _Relax!_

"Ready?"

I nodded and smiled. "Absolutely."

We headed south on 101, and before we were even ten minutes out of Forks, conversation had become incredibly easy. Carlisle kept me laughing with stories about the patients and nurses at the hospital. I realized that I was completely at ease, the exact opposite of what I had feared. It was like we could shift from a primal, sexual mode into a casual, friendly, adult conversation mode as easily as Carlisle shifted the gears of his sleek car.

We were just two friends who happened to have slept together – friends who were exploring something more than friendship. Was this how it felt to be in a healthy, adult relationship? If it was, I could definitely get used to it.

After about an hour of driving, Carlisle brought the car to a halt at the Lake Quinault Lodge.

"Ever heard of the Roosevelt Room?" Carlisle asked as he helped me to my feet.

I shook my head. "I don't think I've even heard of this town. But it's absolutely beautiful!"

The lodge was at the very edge of Lake Quinault, and the autumnal trees lent an air of mystery and romance to the dark, shimmering water. It was the perfect setting for a romantic evening.

Carlisle extended his arm, and I took it gratefully. There was no telling how long I'd last on my own in these heels.

The lodge was decorated as you might expect in a lodge – wood paneling, heavy rustic furniture, softly flickering lamps hanging from the ceiling, the occasional stuffed animal. It was all just too perfect.

"Reservation for two under 'Cullen,'" Carlisle said authoritatively to the hostess, who was clearly taken by Carlisle's good looks.

"Yes sir, we've got the best seat in the house saved for you," she said brightly. A little _too_ brightly.

I suppressed the urge to make a face at the girl as she led us to our table. I had to admit that she was right – it really was the best table in the restaurant.

Carlisle took my coat and pulled my chair out for me. We sat right in front of a wall of large windows that overlooked the lake, with the mountains looming on the farthest shore. A huge fireplace with a deer's head mounted over it was at our back, lending its warmth to my bare arms. A baby deer and its mother, no doubt relatives of the animal hanging behind me, frolicked on the perfectly manicured lawn outside. It was practically a Disney movie.

The suave vampire ordered us a bottle of Châteauneuf-du-Pape, and thank God the waitress didn't card me. I would've died.

Carlisle quickly realized his faux pas. "Oops," he murmured with a sly grin. "I've been alive for so long, I keep forgetting the legal drinking age in this country. And in this century."

I giggled, trying my best not to be fazed by the fount of knowledge sitting next to me. The things he must have seen in his lifetime…

Dinner was, in a word, amazing. The wine was fantastic, the beef wellington was perfectly cooked, and the rice pudding was second only to the Cuban rice pudding I'd had one time in Miami. Most importantly, Carlisle and I were really, truly connecting.

There hadn't been a single lull in the conversation since we sat down. I told Carlisle about my Arizona upbringing, my quirky mom, my sporty stepdad, and my worries about adjusting to life in a small town in Washington. Carlisle told me about some of his adventures in Italy, how he met all of his "kids," and how difficult it had been for him to become a doctor with his lust for blood always lurking at the back of his mind. He didn't eat anything as we talked, but the constant conversation kept me from feeling like a pig as I devoured my meal.

By the time we walked back out to the car, I was completely, unquestionably, totally hot for the man, physically and emotionally. But I decided that the physical aspect was a bit more important at the moment. I'd had a taste of the flesh, and now that I'd also had a taste of some wine, I wanted more. Flesh, that is. Wine was great, but I was _horny_.

Carlisle drove back toward 101, but turned onto a pull-off in the woods where we could see the glistening lake. As soon as the car was parked, I made my move.

I leaned over the center console and kissed Carlisle hungrily. Thankfully he seemed to have the same thing on his mind. He wrapped an arm around my back to pull me closer, using his other hand to find the switch that moved my seat back.

I felt a bit silly as I tried to keep my lips on Carlisle's while my seat was drifting farther and farther away, but then it stopped and Carlisle was kneeling on the floor in front of my seat in the blink of an eye.

God bless whoever created miniskirts and cute underwear – one was currently being pushed up and the other pulled down, and then that tongue… That _tongue_! It had only been a few days, but I didn't realize just how much I had missed it until it was back on me.

I moaned and writhed, clawing at the window, the center console, _anything_ to keep from just rocketing through the roof. I propped my right stiletto on the dashboard, and suddenly the pressure was just right. In a few moments I was doing my best to wake up everyone that lived on the shore with my shouts of pleasure. Carlisle growled as I came, continuing to lap at me until every last shudder had subsided.

I looked down at the unbelievably sexy vampire propped between my legs. "My turn," I whispered, and he let me pull him up to switch places with me. It was a miracle that neither of us bumped our heads or pulled a muscle in the limited space.

This was new territory for me, but I charged ahead with an enthusiasm and determination I barely recognized. I unzipped Carlisle's slacks and slowly, (hopefully) seductively pulled them down to his shoes, and then I did the same with his black boxer briefs. I ran my hands over his smooth, hard abs and then down his inner thighs, reveling in the shaky breath he drew and the shiver that went through his perfect body.

"Bella…" he sighed, his eyelids fluttering in anticipation.

I studied the very large member in front of me and grasped it at the base, using my other hand to stroke Carlisle's side under his shirt. After a moment of indecision, I flicked my tongue out to touch the very tip.

Carlisle bucked very slightly, his right hand grasping the door handle and his left holding onto the driver's seat. I decided the reaction was a good one and continued to experiment, alternating between feather-light touches and strong, broad licks. I eventually felt bold enough to take him into my mouth as far as I could, and Carlisle cried out.

Well, that was a powerful feeling. I couldn't suppress a feeling of pride as I moved up and down on the vampire, relishing each shiver and groan. I was a bit disappointed when Carlisle suddenly pulled me up to straddle his lap, but the disappointment vanished as Carlisle guided me down onto his stiff member.

"Fuck!" I moaned, enjoying this new development immensely. Carlisle put his hands on my hips and guided me up and down, and I grabbed the passenger roof handle and braced my other arm on the top of the driver's seat to give me more leverage as I increased my speed.

Carlisle licked my nipples as I moved up and down, and he moved one hand off my hip to rub my clit. A few moments later, I was going stiff with sheer pleasure, crying out as I temporarily saw purple stars. With a groan, Carlisle came inside me.

I collapsed on top of the vampire, barely noticing that the windows had completely steamed up. I just wasn't quite capable of coherent thought yet.

But then I had one thought very suddenly that scared me – a thought summoned by years of Sex Ed classes in the public school system.

"Oh God. Condom," was all I could manage between heavy pants.

Carlisle gently moved me off of him to sit farther back on his legs. He held up a flimsy piece of rubber that looked like it had recently taken a real beating. "You mean this?"

I frowned. "How did you…?"

"I move quickly, and I was in a hurry. Don't worry, we used one last time, too."

It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders, and I collapsed forward on Carlisle's chest, glad that he was kind of sweaty, too. Otherwise I'd feel disgusting.

Carlisle stroked my back tenderly. "Wow."

"Yup."

We just sat there for a few minutes, trying to collect ourselves after the mind-blowing sex. Eventually we peeled ourselves apart and pulled our clothes back on.

"I know you won't believe me, but I really didn't intend to pounce on you like that tonight," Carlisle said with a sheepish laugh.

I shrugged, trying to do something with my uncooperative hair. "You won't believe me, but I _completely_ intended to pounce on you like that tonight."

Carlisle laughed heartily, buckling his seatbelt. He turned to me with a smile in his eyes.

"Does this mean we can keep seeing each other?"

I nodded without a second thought. "Absolutely. I'm having a great time with you."

Carlisle leaned over the console and kissed me again. He looked at me very seriously. "I haven't felt this alive in a long, long time."

I didn't know what to say, so I just kissed him. Honestly, I felt exactly the same way. And I had never even died.

* * *

A/N: I nearly wrote "suave campfire" instead of "suave vampire." Just thought I'd admit that I'm sometimes a complete idiot. Like when I don't update for a long, long, long, long, long…

You get the idea. It took me forever to update, I feel like an ass, and I'm very sorry. Life got in the way, but it still shouldn't have taken that long. But now that the weather is colder and nearly all the rooms in my new house are painted and my puppy is completely housetrained, I should be cranking out the chapters a lot faster. I love nothing more than writing by the fireplace in a fuzzy robe and warm slippers. My special thanks go to seza3175, who gave me the kick I needed to get this chapter out.

Next order of business: I've always been very cautious about putting "adult" material on . I had an account that got canceled because someone reported my story for having a bit of smut, so I've been super-sensitive about it since then. However, I've decided that posting in two different places is just too confusing and too hard. So, I replaced the chapter 9, which was originally censored, with the uncensored chapter 9 I posted on my LiveJournal. If you're too young or offended, DON'T READ IT. This story is rated M or R or whatever the mature rating is, so if you're not prepared for mature content, again: DON'T READ IT. So there.

And now, haikus for your reviews (yay rhyming!):

Lust is in the air  
Could love be next for these two?  
Review to find out!

Bella and Carlisle  
Are like two bunnies in heat;  
Can't keep their clothes on!

Thank you to all the rock stars who favorited/alerted me last time around – you guys are better than rice pudding. And, as usual, an ENORMOUS bear hug and plate of warm, fudgy brownies to my reviewers:

aerobee82 (_formatting breaks is such a pain! I'm just going to start posting uncensored on from now on to avoid anymore confusion – posting in two places is just too much trouble :] )_, hnwhitlock2000, notashamedtobe (_LOL!_), JJ, maruxf, victoria79, Anonymous, -Cullen, whitegurl2013, seza3175, RubyDragonJewel, BranowynIvy, midtwilight, BellasGirlfriend, Jasper'sBaltimoreBabe (_I LOVE jazz hands_), 4MeJasper, and prattster666.

Thank you all so, so, SO much for your encouragement and advice! I couldn't do this without you.

On tap for the next chapter: Bella and Jake unleash their inner Hell's Angels. Bella hangs with the Cullens and delves deeper into her relationship with Carlisle. Plus, we have a visitor who seems to know more about Bella's newfound relationship than she'd like them to. But WHO? *cue the dramatic music*

P.S. I'm attempting to learn yoga along with Bella. In real life, I'm about as coordinated as she is. So we'll see how this goes. :)


	11. I'm Adopted!

_**The Kindness of Semi-Strangers**_

By Freddie Stardust

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing – Stephenie Meyer is the genius behind the _Twilight_ series. I make no money from writing this story.

_Chapter Eleven – I'm Adopted?!_

"Crap!" Emmett exclaimed, chucking his guitar aside and nearly taking out the chair it hit.

I smirked. "C'mon, Em! Getting schooled by a mortal? Not cool."

Emmett rolled his eyes, but still cracked a grin. "Best five out of eight?"

"You're on."

Emmett retrieved his guitar at super-human speed and selected the next song for our Guitar Hero showdown. Behind us, Alice, Rosalie, and Edward sighed simultaneously. Alice wanted to do my hair, Edward wanted to see a tennis match on the TV we were using, and Rosalie… Well, she was just being Rosalie.

We ignored them and began the next battle, and despite Emmett's vampire coordination, I destroyed him.

"How do you do that?" Emmett asked in wonder.

I shrugged. "It's your fault for giving me that new stereo. I listen to music all the time – maybe it's rubbing off on me."

Emmett looked thoughtful. "I gave, and I can also take away…"

"Don't you dare!" I warned him as he playfully moved toward the front door. "I love that stereo."

Edward snickered from his spot on the couch, switching to the tennis match with a victorious look while Emmett and I were distracted from our tournament.

Alice jumped up and began running her hands through my hair, and, much as it pained me, I had to admit it felt good.

"You're mine for the next half hour," she told me in a tone that left no room for negotiation. I sighed and followed her back to the couch.

"Hey!" Emmett protested. "We were battling!"

"Sorry," Alice said lightly. "She's mine now."

Rosalie stood up gracefully and took Emmett's hand. "Let's go hunt. I'm starving."

Emmett nodded. "Sure babe." He pointed at me with a determined look. "This isn't over."

I waggled my fingers at him with a teasing grin. He laughed and followed his wife out the back door.

It was great hanging out with the Cullens; I really felt like I was part of the family. They were all so incredible in their own ways, and perhaps I hoped that some of their awesomeness would rub off on me. A girl could dream.

Lately, Edward had been bugging me to spend time with them _all the time_, and I knew exactly why. He (and Alice, by extension) was trying to keep me from spending time with Jake to work on the motorcycles. They were convinced I was going to end up crashing full-throttle into a rock, a la Wile E. Coyote. Given my history, it was a pretty valid concern.

Their attempts were in vain. I saw Jake plenty on the few sunny days we were having, and I spent weekend mornings with him while the Cullens were hunting. Pretty soon the chilly October air would thwart any attempts at a joy ride on the nearly finished motorcycles, and we'd have to put the brakes on our project until the spring.

Things were also going great with Carlisle. We went on some pretty amazing dates, always outside of Forks so as not to compromise his job or my relationship with Charlie. We'd been kayaking, rock-climbing, horseback riding… And amazingly, I felt so comfortable with him, not only on an emotional level, but also on a clumsiness level. I never felt like I was at risk of hurting myself when I was with him; I knew he'd always have my back.

Yup. Things were going swimmingly.

Alice's hands suddenly went still in my hair, and Edward stopped pretending to breathe.

"What do you see?"

I waited patiently for Alice's hands to resume their work and for her to speak.

"Bella, your mom is coming to visit."

I furrowed my brow. "When? I'm supposed to go see her in December anyway."

"Next week," Alice chirped. "It's fine, don't worry. Phil's playing in Seattle and they thought they'd come by. Your mom's going to take you shopping and your dad and Phil are going to watch ESPN. No big deal."

When I got the phone call from my mom on Tuesday, I was so unenthusiastic that I nearly had her in tears, wondering if I even wanted them to come. I mentally scolded myself and made a note to remember next time to act surprised when Alice had forewarned me about something.

After a good ten minutes reassuring my mom that I was thrilled that she would be coming to town, I had the happy task of informing my dad that they would be visiting. He actually really liked Phil, but I had a feeling that he'd never really gotten over my mom leaving him.

I got the usual "nod and grunt" routine from him when I told him, but for the next three days, I caught him cleaning a lot more than usual. There was even a plant on the kitchen table. Charlie could barely keep himself up and running, let alone a plant. Edward took pity on the poor plant, knowing that Charlie and I were far too scatterbrained to remember to take care of it. It became part of his routine before school and after I was asleep to give the tiny shrub a bit of plant food and water.

Friday was the big day. I managed to finish all my homework for the weekend while I was still in class so that I'd have plenty of time and attention to devote to my mom. That was actually becoming the norm – dates with Carlisle were generally on the weekend, and doing homework on a romantic getaway was kind of a turn-off.

I was stuffing my wallet and phone into my purse when the doorbell rang. I flung open the door, wincing as it viciously smacked the wall (_Nice one, superstar)_ and then threw myself at my mother, hoping an uncharacteristically enthusiastic hug would make her forget my initial hesitance at her visit.

"Mom! It's so great to see you!"

After she had fussed over me, as mothers are wont to do, I gave Phil a hug and ushered them inside. Charlie was in the family room, pretending to be disinterested. In reality, he had spent an hour getting ready for the arrival of my mother and her husband, trimming his facial hair, plucking his unibrow, and whatever else men do to groom themselves.

"Hey there Phil," he greeted my stepfather, giving him the hearty handshake/shoulder grab combo that symbolizes fraternity these days. My dad could be strangely in touch with modern culture sometimes.

"Hi Charlie," my mom said from the entryway to the room, looking slightly awkward.

"Hi Renee," Charlie said, looking really awkward.

Phil and I shared a knowing look, and before things could escalate to "painfully awkward," I had led my mom outside and Phil had grabbed a couple of beers and turned on ESPN.

The drive to Port Angeles was filled with the usual small talk, with Renee pestering me about boys after the obligatory school and job questions.

"Honestly, the boys my age really don't interest me," I told her after much teenage sighing and protesting.

That was absolutely the truth. It wasn't the whole truth, but it was definitely truthful. I could just imagine telling her everything: _Oh yeah Mom, I can't stand boys my age, but give them a couple of centuries to mature, and I'd be _all _over them. Mmmm hmmm._

I could tell by her disappointed look that I really needed to throw her a bone, so I told her there were a couple of cute guys, but they all had girlfriends.

We pulled into a parking spot outside Necessities & Temptations, which promised to fuel up shoppers with coffee and muffins before tackling their to-do lists. As we were stepping out of the car and into the gloomy, misty afternoon, I saw two people who would usually make my face light up. Today, my stomach did a swandive.

"Bella! Yoo-hoo!" Alice called, waving her hand dramatically despite being about ten feet away.

_Alice, please don't make a scene. Please don't make a scene. Please don't make a…_

"And you must be Bella's mother!" Alice squealed at such a pitch that even Carlisle, who was apparently her shopping companion for the afternoon, had to roll his eyes at her display.

Renee had absolutely no idea that I was mortified, and seemed actually rather taken with my small, pixie-like friend.

"Yes, I'm Renee," my mom said with a smile and a handshake.

"And I'm Alice, Bella's best friend," Alice said gregariously. "And this is her…"

"Doctor, Carlisle Cullen," I interjected quickly, with a scowl. "He's Alice and Edward's adopted father."

Alice looked at Carlisle in mock surprise. "I'm _adopted_?!"

No one knew what to do for a moment until Alice burst into giggles. I hoped she was happy right now, because later she was going to get an earful. I was considering everything from garlic to silver stakes.

"Forgive me, I'm just so excited to meet Bella's mother," Alice continued, as though her batteries were fresh off the recharger. "Bella's ever so wonderful, and I've been dying to meet the woman who raised her to be such a great young woman."

Renee was totally eating this up, though I couldn't say I was too shocked. I loved my mom dearly, but she was nothing if not naïve.

While Alice distracted my mom, I was able to mouth "Hi" to Carlisle. He gave me a small smile and winked, which nearly knocked me off my feet. I really had to learn how to control my primal reactions to his advances, or else I'd be fainting every time he blinked in my general direction. _Very smooth, Swan_.

"So I guess you've gotten to know Bella pretty well, Dr. Cullen?" Renee suddenly asked.

Carlisle and I could only look at each other, his eyes subtly studying my mother, and my mouth gaping open about as subtly as a wide-mouth bass.

"Because she's so accident prone?" Renee supplied.

"Oh, yes," Carlisle said quickly, flashing a charming smile. If he were human, he'd have been holding his breath on purpose. "A concussion and two sets of stitches so far." He looked over at me with mischief in his eyes, and, being human, I held my breath. "If you aren't careful, I'll never be able to get you off my hospital bed."

Renee laughed, hopefully not suspecting a thing. Alice and Carlisle both laughed, too, and I gave the kind of laugh that I hoped conveyed my frustration. And by frustration, I mean burning desire to kick both of them in the shins with steel-toed boots.

"Well, it was great running into you guys, but I've got very limited time with my mom, and I've promised her a muffin," I said quickly as I took Renee's hand and dragged her toward the shop.

"It was nice to meet you!" Renee called, still chuckling. Alice waved energetically and Carlisle gave a quick, suave wave. As I pushed her as delicately as I could into the store in front of me, I turned around and glared at the two vampires.

By the end of the afternoon, we had shopped ourselves to exhaustion, despite many refills on our iced coffees. We hauled our loot out to Renee's rental car and tossed it into the trunk before tossing our dragging butts into the front of the small sedan.

"Your friend Alice was really nice. Very energetic," Renee remarked.

Warning bells went off in my head. I had been hoping that she would forget that meeting after a distracting afternoon filled with lots of shiny things. My mom was a sucker for shiny things.

"Except her hands were so cold. Like ice."

"She has a medical thing. Anemia or something," I supplied quickly.

Renee smiled fondly at me. "She seems like a great friend to you, Bella."

I nodded, unable to stop my reciprocating smile. "She really is. She's always there for me."

Renee started the car and began to back out of the parking spot. "And that Doctor Cullen is quite the catch."

The warning bells became a full-blown siren. "Well, don't tell Phil, he might get jealous," I joked half-heartedly.

Renee raised an eyebrow at me and smirked. "You know what I mean. I wasn't talking about for _me_."

Was I missing something?

My numerous consciences began debating again on the best response to Renee's words, and eventually I just decided on silence, hoping she wouldn't ask any more questions. Luckily, she got distracted by a song she liked on the radio. _God bless shiny things_.

We made it all the way back home without further Carlisle talk, and when we walked in the door, Phil and Charlie were on their third or fourth beer each and were yelling at the TV and chest-bumping each other. I was kind of surprised they hadn't stripped to their boxers and fired up the grill, for the amount of bromance that was going on in the family room.

"Hey boys," Renee said by way of announcing our presence. The guys paused their celebration and had the good grace to look a little embarrassed.

"Welcome back, hon," Phil greeted, coming over to give Renee a quick kiss. "Can I get you a beer?"

Renee gave him a "Really?" look and shook her head. "I'm going to drop off the bags at the hotel and catch up with a couple girlfriends over dinner. Bella, would you like to come?"

I tried to think quickly. Much as I loved my mom, dinner with her girlfriends sounded awkward and just plain boring. "Thanks, but I need to catch up on some homework."

"In that case, Charlie and I are going to grab a bite at the bar, finish watching the game there," Phil announced, grabbing the empty beer cans and taking them to the kitchen to recycle. "Can you give me a ride back to the hotel afterward, Chuck?"

I snorted, but turned it into a massive coughing fit at the sight of my dad's glare. "Sure, no problem."

And just like that, I was alone in the house. But of course, that only lasted about a millisecond.

Everyone had just gotten into their respective cars and disappeared down the street when there was a knock at the door. I knew exactly who it was.

"Good evening, lover," Carlisle greeted when I opened the door.

I glared at him. "Seriously?"

Carlisle laughed as I let him in, and I found it suddenly very difficult to be mad at him for his earlier display in front of my mom. Damn him and his awesomeness.

"That was so not funny," I chided him, but I didn't really mean it anymore. I could already feel myself going weak at the prospect of being alone with him.

"It _so _was," Carlisle teased, gliding closer and closer to me until he had me backed up against the front door. He placed a hand on either side of my head, his lips tantalizingly close to mine as his beautiful amber eyes stared into mine.

I could feel my breathing speed up and my cheeks flush, which made Carlisle growl softly.

"You have no idea what you do to me," he whispered.

"Actually, I think I do," I murmured, boldly snaking a hand between us to feel the growing hardness between his legs. He moaned loudly, and the sudden loss of composure really turned me on.

"I need you. Now."

It wasn't a request. It wasn't a question. It was a simple fact, one that I had no argument with.

Carlisle seized me and carried me with lightning speed up the stairs to my bedroom, where he tossed me on the bed and flung his clothes off. Before he could do anything else, I held up my hand to stop him.

"Ah ah ah," I said, sitting up on my knees as he practically panted in front of me. "After you and Alice messed with me today, I think you need a little…" I fumbled for the words. "A little discipline."

Carlisle raised an eyebrow, but obligingly smiled. "Go on," he said, interested.

I gestured him forward with a wiggle of my finger, and he sat down at the head of my bed, legs outstretched in front of him.

I wished I were that confident with my nakedness, to be able to sit there in all my glory while someone else stared at me.

Well, you've gotta start somewhere.

I crawled forward until I was straddling his naked body, still fully clothed. He reached up to grab my hips, but I scooted back.

"Nope. Can't touch yet."

Instead of being angry, as I'd feared, Carlisle seemed intrigued. He put his hands back down at his sides, palms down.

I straddled him again, dipping my chest tantalizingly in front of his line of sight. He stared at them, clearly hungering to touch, but restraining himself.

I wondered for a moment how smart it was to test a vampire's self control.

Leaning back, I removed that particular temptation from in front of his face, only to graze his extremely erect member with the coarse material of my jeans. He hissed and bucked his hips upward, closing his eyes to try to hang onto a shred of control.

I smiled, drunk with my sudden power. It was time to give him a little reward, I decided. I yanked off my shirt and bra and tossed them onto the floor, and when his eyes opened again, they were brighter than I'd ever seen them.

"Bella…"

I really, _really _enjoyed this newfound dominance I had. I slid my hands down my body slowly as I watched Carlisle, who seemed to be in agony now.

"Please…"

I unbuttoned my jeans and stood up long enough to yank them off, stumbling a bit as I did so. _Still clumsy in the throes of passion. True to form, Swan. True to form._

I sat back down on top of Carlisle's outstretched body, only a thin piece of cotton between our most intimate parts. I moaned softly.

Carlisle's patience had reached its limit. He sat up like a flash (_Nice ab control_) and kissed me fiercely, all while reaching between us, ripping off my panties, and plunging into my core.

He was like a man possessed. He drove up into me as I feebly attempted to keep up, all the while rubbing at my clit until I came hard. Then he flipped me underneath him, sliding out and lapping at me with his cool tongue relentlessly. My legs quaked and I moaned helplessly, feeling the pressure wind up tighter and tighter until I was screaming with release again. Carlisle only gave me a second to recover before pulling my legs up over his shoulders and then plowing into me again, deeper than he'd ever reached before. He pounded in and out of me, hitting a spot inside of me that felt like bottled bliss.

It only took a few moments longer before I had my third glorious release, and Carlisle thrusted ten seconds more before he, too, was groaning in ecstasy.

My legs dropped, my body exhausted. I was still shaking slightly from the sudden and vigorous marathon of sexual activity.

Carlisle gracefully dropped to the mattress beside me and held me close from behind. Even after that burst of energy, he could still be smooth and composed. _Show-off_.

I couldn't speak for a while, and I'm pretty sure that at some point, I dozed off. When I came to, Carlisle was studying the Shih Tzu Puppies calendar on my wall, and I could have died of embarrassment.

"That was a gag gift from my mom," I lied, sitting up and holding a pillow in front of my body. "She thought it was cute."

Carlisle smiled. "I like dogs. I used to have them when I was a boy."

"Why don't you now?"

He shrugged. "Might be a little too tempting for Jasper. It would be like a pork chop playing fetch with him and asking him to rub its belly."

"Oh." That was really sad, actually. Poor Jasper.

I heard a car in the driveway and started to panic. "Oh crap, Charlie's back."

Carlisle dressed in the blink of an eye and gave me a lingering kiss. "I'll see you soon, Bella. Goodnight."

And then he was gone.

I sat stunned for a moment, then remembered Charlie was about to walk in on his naked daughter. I jumped up and pulled on some pajama pants and an old tank top just as he walked in the front door.

"I'm home, Bells," he called.

I opened my bedroom door and waved down the stairs at him. "Hey Dad. Hope you had fun. I'm gonna hit the hay – I have to work early tomorrow."

He nodded, still smiling from his guys' night with Phil. "Goodnight. Sleep tight."

I escaped into the bathroom, leaning against the door with a goofy grin on my face.

"I have the _best_ boyfriend _ever_."

And then I thought for a moment.

Was Carlisle Cullen my boyfriend?

We'd never had a talk about it, and it seemed like it was a really weird thing to talk about. Lauren and Jessica's _Cosmopolitan_ magazine covers were splashed with headlines saying, "Hookup Heartbreak: Turn Your Fling Into a Real Thing."

Within seconds, my brain was flooded with questions I'd never before fathomed. Were we a "real thing?" Was this something we should talk about, or should it just sort itself out? What if he was seeing a bunch of girls at once? Was I supposed to date other guys too?

This was just way too complicated. I sighed, grabbing my toothbrush and using it with a bit more ferocity than usual. When I spat blood into the sink, I realized that maybe I shouldn't take my frustrations out on my gumline.

All through work the next day, I couldn't stop thinking about my exclusivity, or lack thereof, with Carlisle. I was so distracted that I tripped on a stray Nerf football and knocked over a row of stand up paddleboards, nearly taking out a girl on crutches.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry," I babbled, rushing over to help the girl. "Are you okay?"

The girl rolled her eyes at me and crutched away, leaving me to feel like a total asshole. I began work setting the paddleboards to rights.

"You okay, Bella?"

Mike Newton. I had promised myself I'd be nicer to him. Instead of giving him my standard response– devastatingly sarcastic wit – I shrugged and gave him a small smile.

"Sure. Just being my usual, graceful self. Living up to the name."

Mike looked puzzled.

I bit down more sarcasm. "Swan. Graceful like a swan."

"Oh, I get it." But by his look, I don't think he did.

"How are you and Jessica?" I asked as he helped me stand the paddleboards back to their upright position.

It was his turn to shrug. "Fine, I guess." He winced as a board smacked him in the forehead. "She talks a lot. And her friend Lauren?" Mike lowered his voice as if Lauren might suddenly appear behind us. "She's kind of a bitch."

"Alert the presses," I mumbled. "Lauren's one of those girls who's so insecure she has to bring down every other girl to feel better about herself."

"I know, right?" Mike exclaimed. "If they weren't attached at the hip, I'd really like being with Jessica more."

"Why don't you tell her that?" I suggested, thinking it was simple enough.

Mike looked at me like I'd told him to take a Zumba class with a Komodo dragon. "And fling myself willingly into a shitstorm? No thanks."

"People aren't psychic, you know," I chided him. "Unless you tell someone there's a problem, they'll never know, and you'll never fix the problem."

It seemed like I had just stumbled upon the solution to my own problem with Carlisle (which Carlisle probably didn't even know existed). As soon as Mike walked away, having made a vague promise to talk to Jessica, I hid behind a paddleboard and texted Carlisle.

**What are you doing tonight?**

It only took a minute for Carlisle to answer.

**Cooking dinner for you.**

I smiled in spite of my worries about our budding relationship.

**Sounds great! What time should I be there?**

Carlisle responded:

**Eight o'clock all right?**

I pecked out a quick reply as I heard footsteps approaching.

**See you then.**

I shoved my phone in my pocket just as Mike's mom came around the corner.

"Everything all right, sweetheart?" she asked, straightening up some merchandise on an endcap.

"Absolutely." And I was pretty sure it would be.

Relationships these days were too damn complicated. Before _Cosmopolitan_, I'd had no idea there were so many rules to establish and "talks" to have. Couldn't it just be simple? I like you, you like me, let's date and not screw each other over emotionally?

All would be settled tonight, hopefully.

A/N: Well hello there everybody! I bet you thought I was never coming back.

To be honest, I was really scared that I wouldn't. I'll give it to you straight: I was diagnosed with Lyme disease, and sadly, the last thing on my mind was writing. You get bitten by a Lyme-carrying tick, and then you're pretty much knocked on your ass for weeks, months, even years. It was horrible – those of you who've had it, or know someone who's had it, you know what I'm talking about. There was a three-month stretch where I didn't even get out of bed. It's been a really (really, really, really, really, really) long recovery period, but I'm feeling back like my old self again, and I'm tackling this story with a vengeance to make up for my absence. Do forgive me if I make any errors or if maybe the narrative voice sounds a bit different – it may take me a chapter or two to get back in my groove.

And now, I beg for reviews via a terza rima:

Doctor Cullen makes me grin,

His touch, it makes me shiver.

He makes my head so quickly spin.

My legs, how they do quiver

At even one feather-light touch;

My heart drops down to my liver.

I long to hold him oh, so much!

His smile, it makes me weak;

He has me in his gentle clutch.

I cannot find the words to speak

Without sounding hokey.

I simply want to shriek:

Oh Carlisle, please love me!

Oh Carlisle, please fuck me!

Many thanks to those of you who reviewed during my looooooooooong absence:

Allons-y 23, As, queenofcamelot123, agipe, Elle Leigh, LisbethsGirlfriend, rugby35, Yeddi, LouLouBear1213, jaspers-honeybee, katt-ryn, BeastsRose23, Spudzmom, erythra-selena, LadyGrelka (_I loved all your suggestions – I'll definitely be getting to the wolves and the awkward talk about turning Bella!)_, grammysharbear2, Wolfwifey0611, Missy, alysha813, nurikat21, seza3175 (_thank you for caring so much about the story! It means so much to me_), caressa28, victoria79, whitegurl2013, chacha73, aerobee82, notashamedtobe, Kathy Hiester, AbbeNormal (_thank you so, so much for your kind words of support!_), and hnwhitlock2000.

You guys, simply put, kick all kinds of butt. Pretend that I just set a heaping plate of chocolate chip pancakes in front of you, and dig in.

On deck for next chapter: Bella and Carlisle have a "talk," the motorcycles are inching toward readiness, and it's the Cullens' favorite holiday: Halloween.


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